Gentle Ideas

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Khandnalie, Apr 2, 2010.

  1. Khandnalie

    Khandnalie New Member

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    So, my story is kinda weird, I guess. Me and my fucktoy started out in a rather vanilla relationship, and we both just sorta found out about our bdsm fetish while we were with each other - she told me she liked cuffs, I told her I liked owning her, and it all just sorta came in place. We didnt even know there was a term for what we did until like a week ago. Or, rather, we didnt think that term applied to us.

    But anyways, my point is, we like D/s and bondage, with just a tinge of humiliation - but most of what we do, is pretty gentle. So I was wondering if any of yall had any suggestions or ideas for a pair of newbies to try out that arent too extreme or anything? Id be very appreciative for your input.
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    Get your fucktoy to sit at/on your feet to keep them warm as you watch an erotic movie. A nice long chain on the collar would get her to pleasure you with a short sharp tug. :cool:
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  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Well, for bondage, cuff her and then tie the cuffs to the bedposts or the couch legs or whatever. Do it tight enough that she can't really get away, but give her a little slack so she can shift for comfort or struggle against the bondage--a little slack is less intimidating for a newbie than strict bondage. You might blindfold her, although that can be a little scary for a beginner sometimes. Then use her as it amuses you. Don't get too rough unless that's already part of the way you play together. But use a little pain--pinching the nipples or biting them gently, for example. Alternate that sort of play with something sensuous, like stroking her gently or teasing her with a feather or whatever. But the idea is that you get to do whatever you want and she has to take it.

    For humiliation, try taunting her about enjoying what you're doing. "I can't believe you like this. You're supposed to be an independent woman, but you're just letting me use you." Or if that's not crude enough, call her your bitch, your whore, your cunt, your filthy fucktoy. I often like whispering in my boy's ear--I think it feels a little more menacing if it's done right. "That's right, bitch. I'm gonna use you now and there's nothing you can do to stop me. Does that hurt you? That's too bad, because I'm not going to stop until you're begging me to."

    Pay close attention to how she responds, and when you get positive responses, do more of whatever got that response. Be a little rougher. Try a variation on it. If she responds verbally, play off of what she said. If she acts scared or defiant, tell her how cruel you're going to be. When my boys beg, I tell them that they're not begging enough yet--they need to be more desperate. Just experiment and explore and pay attention.

    One very important thing for her to feel comfortable is to give her a safeword or two. A safeword is a code word that won't come up in your normal interaction in the scene that indicates that she wants you to stop or slow down. I use 'red' for stop and 'yellow' for 'slow down or ease off'. This way, she can tell you to stop and you'll know she doesn't actually want you to stop until she uses her safeword. Many subs like the illusion of being violated and being able to protest against their treatment, knowing that the dom will ignore those protests and keep going unless the safe word gets used.

    Hope this helps.
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2010
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  4. Khandnalie

    Khandnalie New Member

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    Thankyou :)
    We havent had much time together to explore, except over chat and email, but were looking forward to trying a lot of things.

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