Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Div, Apr 1, 2012.

  1. Div

    Div New Member

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    I lurk on this forum a lot, but hardly ever have anything to input. That said, I have a situation that I'm hoping some of you may have some input on. I did a search on this but didn't find anything.

    I've recently moved into a house with my girlfriend. We're into bdsm off and on, and we're wanting more of the "on" and less of the "off," but we're very busy people and don't always have the time to spend on our d/s relationship that we would like.

    So here's the problem. Her father has fallen on hard times, and is now living with us. I'm happy with this from every angle except for our d/s and sex life. She is very averse to him hearing or in any way sensing our excapades, which I do understand, and agree with. No father wants to hear these things, and I respect that. But he's here all the time. I feel like we've skipped ahead several years in our life to when we have kids and are trying to not scar them for life, but instead of a 5 year old we have a 65 year old.

    So this leaves me with a dilemma: I need to maintain my relationship with my sub, but I need to be discreet. Does anybody have suggestions for me? She is the type of sub who, without consistency, becomes unruly. We've gotten to a place where she is not as obedient as I would like, and this bothers me. So do you guys have ideas as to how I can get us back to a better place, but, you know, quietly?

    I suppose I could think of things to do to rectify the situation, but I'm just kind of feeling defeated lately and needed to vent. I was thinking we would have an hour alone today, but it ended up being cut down to 20 minutes unexpectedly. Add 2+2 on that one. Any ideas/similar experiences?
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    One thing you might do is speak to your father-in-law and explain to him that while you really like having him around, his presence does hamper your romance with your gf. Unless he's a crazy conservative prude, he should understand that you and she have sex, and any reasonable person would agree that he needs to not impose so much that he suppresses your ability to have a relationship with his daughter. So ask him to help you find times when he can be out of the house for a few hours so you can be romantic without embarrassing anyone. It's obviously an awkward conversation, but reasonable adults should be able to discuss that sort of thing.

    And look for codes that you and she can use to discretely exchange power when he's around. For example, agree that when you say 'honey', you really mean 'slave' or 'bitch' or whatever you like to call her, and 'darling' means 'master' or 'sir'. That way you can say 'honey, could you get me a beer?' and the two of you know you're really saying 'fetch me a beer, bitch'.

    If you do play when her father is around, order her to make no noise. That's a command that brings it's own embarrassing penalty for failure.
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  3. MIRROR: Download from MEGA

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    I'd agree with Sebastian, it sounds like you get on OK with your father-in-law, and it's your place, so I would hope he'd be understanding.

    One idea for a silent punishment would be to force your sub to wear a butt plug while he's actually around. Since he's her dad there's the humiliation aspect.

    I don't know about your financial situation, but you might consider a locking butt plug. They're pretty expensive though.

    Here's one for about 150 Euro. http://www.meo.de/catalog/product_info.php?products_id=8748

    And a much more expensive one from the US. http://store.rubberasylum.net/store/420

    Use a condom on them to make cleaning easier.

    Another idea might be to enforce corset training on your sub. Again - this is something that can be done discretely under her clothes.


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