This weekend my husband and I tried choking during sex (not half bad for a guy who didn't want to "hurt" me a couple weeks ago ). It was fantastic, but afterwards, I got to thinking, so now I have a few questions. For starters, we haven't yet chosen a safe word. This is simply because he has never before shown interest in anything that would take us to that extreme. For now, a simple "stop" or frantic grab would bring it all to a halt. I haven't wanted to bring the safe word up yet because we have been focusing on the dominance factor - the pain issue made him uneasy (although, I'm thinking he's ready for that conversation). Anyhoo...I obviously believe it is now necessary to have a safe word, but I'm thinking a safe toy would be best for a choking scene. Correct? And what about bruising? He brought me to the point were darkness was closing in around the edges of my vision before he eased up and I didn't get any bruising. How long would the choking have to go on before bruising would begin to take place? This is definitely not something I want to have happen, boy would people get the wrong idea! And when I say a 'choking scene' I don't mean choking until I pass out, but intervals of choking, easing up, choking, easing up, etc. Thoughts? Concerns? Advice?