Can't cum

MistressMaria86 · Sep 12, 2012

Oh here's one for you - how do you know if you have??

With a guy its more obvious as there is a release but for a girl (which I am ) and you are not with someone (so 'by yourself') how do I know if I am making it happen or I am just getting close??

So yes I have a toy ( but I dont admit to it to anyone in my friend circle - dont ask me why - I think its always because I felt that it was something only single people who couldnt get 'the real thing' did and I didnt want to be thought of as using some form of substitute because most people wouldnt be surprised to hear that I couldnt get ' the real thing' - yes I have issues lol.

I know that when I do 'play' I get hot and that there is tension and release of muscles (apologies if this is TMI) but is that all that happens ?

So if you cant exactly ask someone to 'show you what happens when you have an orgasm' and women in general dont tend to release any kind of liquid how do I know whats happening to me??

Mistress Maria

Master'slilpet · Sep 12, 2012

I haven't use a vibrator, not allowed to own one yet..

and i agree with Mistress Maria, how do you know?

i get warm, my knee and leg muscles twitch, and i feel very exhausted quickly.. then i hit a 'wall' and cant go further..

handcuff_freak · Sep 13, 2012

I say just don't stress about it and enjoy yourself. It could be just as simple as a mind block. If it only happens when you are alone try to slowly phase someone in with you. When I was having a problem like that I would masturbate with the person next to me. I knew she was there, but no touching. Then she would start rubbing the inside of my thigh or kissing my neck. Just little things like that help. Eventually I got over being shy. Sometimes you just can't jump in the deep end.

Hope that helped and good luck!

Master'slilpet · Sep 16, 2012

Thanks~ and i think it my just be a mind block..

not that im really shy about it XD but idk what else it could be...

subarama30 · Sep 16, 2012

Personally I think if you have an orgasm you should know all about it.

Having said that, not all are equal and some are rather a let down. Depending on how turned on you are, relaxed and what is going on at the crucial moment, some can be underwhelming. I have had some in the past that have been spoiled by a change in momentum, the wrong movement, little things can throw me off and then I get something less than impressive. I know it's an orgasm but it just wasn't mind blowing, and a less than impressive release. It leaves me pissed off.

I also can have issues with the multiple, sometimes I really want to cum again but just can't no matter how much I try or how turned on I am and it feels like how you ladies describe. I get all the feelings, hot and shaky/twitchy and feel just in the brink but then it all fizzles out and I can't tip over the edge. It's frustrating but I try not obsess about it.

I agree it could be a mind block thing. When I feel under pressure to orgasm with my partner it can distract from the ability to do so though I haven't struggled alone before.

The only thing I would say is to carry on experimenting alone, it will happen in time and then when you figure out how to get yourself off you can explore better with a partner. Oh and mutual masturbation can be hot!

MistressMaria86 · Sep 16, 2012

lol although I know its unlikely but i'd love to see a you tube video ....'now this is close' 'this is almost there' and this is 'having an orgasm'. You could then look at it and say well yes I get as far as video b but am not quite at video c. Then you would know that you either needed to change or increase what was being done in order to tip over.

Passivirgin · Sep 17, 2012

I have the opposite problem, I can cum when I'm inside my partner. But not while she is masturbating me! We put it down to psychological.

Can't cum

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