Any ideas to ease my girlfriend into BDSM

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Tommydrink, May 18, 2010.

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  1. Tommydrink

    Tommydrink New Member

    Well, I have already introduced it to her and she says she enjoys it. However, it happens once or twice a month only when I ask for it. So, any suggestions to help her feel more comfortable about being a dom, or to pique her interest in bondage in general?
     
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  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    man, browse this forum for awhile, look at other threads with similar questions to yours!

    and presto! the ideas will flows!
     
  3. Martello

    Martello Member

    Well, if she's into whatever basics you've discovered so far I would say go through some online stores with her and see what you like and what she likes and branch out from there. It might be a good idea to throw in a few things on an order she's not yet aware of also to spice it up a bit.

    Insofar as asking her for it, what I'll do a lot of the time with my girl, i'll either just start setting up for some fun or just get everything together when shes in the shower or whatever. See how that goes.
     
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  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    There are three things you can do to help your girlfriend figure out what you enjoy. 1) Talk to her 2) Talk to her 3) Talk to her. BDSM requires communication, even more so than a vanilla relationship. Explain to her what you want and how badly you want it.
     
  5. Martello

    Martello Member

    That's some of the best advice right there, that you're ever going to get.

     
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  6. Tommydrink

    Tommydrink New Member

    Thanks

    Well thank ya all
     
  7. Sate_Sprie

    Sate_Sprie Member

    Like the others said, communication is your best tool. It's really the only way your going to get what you want. If you don't feel like you can talk to your wife about it then there is probably other issues you need to work out before trying to engage in any BDSM activity.
     
  8. Boundperil

    Boundperil Member

    A lot of women don't want to do it all the time because they are afraid they are going to loose themselves in the process. My suggestion is to make it as romantic as possible, dinner, candles, soft music, whatever puts her at ease. Don't ask, don't force either, but gently just ease her into it.

    I used to text one sub heavily who was really nervous, would write her stories about how she would be bound, but I would be ravishing her body. It made her at ease knowing that it wasn't whips and chains, but love making and, if done right, a much better climax. She came to a point that I would never have imagined.

    Also, mix it up between BDSM and vanilla. Mileage various and there is no one set course.
     
  9. principessa

    principessa New Member

    1st of all be sure that she enjoys it and she doesn t do it just for your fun...in my job i ve met a lot of couples that did that mistake and after a while they just split.This is not something to be enjoyed only by one part.
     
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