Long Distance Dom: Ideas for Pain

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by mikerotch69, May 29, 2014.

  1. mikerotch69

    mikerotch69 New Member

    Hello all,

    This is yet another post about an online or long distance Dom. I have been a Dom to only handful of wonderful women online. Usually it goes swimmingly, however I've recently taken up a new sub and it's proven a challenge.

    She is a sub that very much enjoys the pain and humiliation aspects of our play. More so the pain than anything else I'd say. However she has no toys nor will she be planning on getting any due to her living arrangements.

    What I'm looking for is everyday things I can use in order to have fun with her and still inflict the pain she needs and craves. Any ideas for punishment, pain, humiliation, anything at all just things I can do as a long distance Dom. Oh also, no Vaginal insertion either (I'm keeping her tight for me so she doesn't get any of that).

    I'll start by listing a few things I've had her do in our last 2 sessions to give you an idea:

    - I've had her edge multiple times with her fingers while I tell her what I'd do to her.
    - I'd had her spank herself hard with the back of a hair brush multiple times.
    - I've had her place metallic Bobby Pins on her nipples and clit
    - Asked her to put wet panties in the freezer and then wear them the next day (quite risky because of her living situation so I doubt this will work again)
    - Tiger balm on her clit.

    I'm looking for more creative ideas. Again the restrictions should be:
    • House hold items only
    • No vaginal insertions
    • No toys
    • Things she can inflict on herself without me being there.
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Clothespins work really well for this sort of thing. They're inconspicuous, cheap, easy to find, and if the discomfort gets too much, the sub can easily remove them. They work well on tits, genitals, earlobes, lips, noses, and other spots.
  3. mikerotch69

    mikerotch69 New Member

    Thank you for the reply,

    Clothespins are something I've done, along with Bobby pins, tigerbalm or icyhot on various parts of the body, spanking with the flat back part of a brush (self inflicted), as well as using matchsticks, immediately putting them out and then touching parts of your body.

    I am looking for other examples, opposed to the common ones. Or a twist on these.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    One trick I've used is to tell the sub to start pinching one of his nipples. I tell him to start very gently, just a light squeeze, but that he can't stop until I give him permission. As we chat, every 30-60 seconds or so, I tell him to increase the pressure a little bit. Eventually I tell him to start digging his nails in, twisting the nipple, and so on, but I remind him that he can't stop without permission. Eventually this gets the sub to start begging, and that's when the fun really kicks in. I make the sub beg until I think he's truly desperate and then I tell him he can stop. A few seconds later I tell him I've changed my mind and he needs to resume again. You can play this game indefinitely, dialing the pressure up and down, given the sub brief periods of release, switching nipples, and so on.

    This sounds like a really simple thing, and it is--no toys needed at all--but it basically turns the sub's hand into an extension of my hand (something I sometimes point out to him) and because he's doing it to himself, it makes him feel very controlled. A few of the boys I've done it with seem really overwhelmed by it (although they're usually novices).
  5. I think most of the obvious ones have been covered.

    You mention "household objects", and I understand that basically these need to be things that do not arouse suspicion. Would she also be able to buy something specific?

    I'm thinking of a "punishment mat". The ultimate one is the Lotus Mat.


    It's used for meditation and it rolls away nice and small.

    But standing on it really hurts, as does sitting on it on a hard chair. Kneeling on it is a killer! And you could also make her lie on her breasts with it under her nipples.

    If the mat is found it's perfectly innocent, and they are really inexpensive.

    If she gets one of these you can combine it with a nice ritual, the confession scene.

    I've written about it here before, but basically you mimic the Roman Catholic confession. Since the real thing is so mentally screwed up it makes for brilliant psychological torture.

    You play the priest, and you write out instructions that she has to follow. For example:

    1. She is a sinner, and she has to obtain your forgiveness.

    2. She has to list her sins, and describe them in humiliating detail. Question her during this process and tell her how sinful and wicked she is. Probe for more details, and get her to repeat the most embarrassing stuff.

    3. Require her to repeat some kind of prayer. Write it for her, or even better is to set her an assignment to write a short prayer of penitence she has to repeat over and over as she stands on the mat.

    4. Depending on her pain tolerance (or if you repeat the scene you need to be able to ramp up the intensity) you can have her sit on the mat, stand on the mat or kneel on the mat.

    5. Now you "layer" the punishments on top of each other. She's already recited her prayer once while sitting on the mat. Tell her that's not enough for forgiveness, so order her to put on the clothes pegs and repeat her sins and her prayer.

    6. Let's say that's not enough either. Keep the pegs on and have her apply the Icy Hot to her clit (this is particularly good if one of her sins is masturbating).

    7. Now get her to repeat her sins and the prayer. It's still not enough, so have her take a leather belt and swing it across her back. This is actually a thing that some religious maniacs really do to themselves!

    So at this points she's feeling the pain from the mat (at whatever intensity you have chosen), she has the clothes pegs on her nipples, the Icy Hot on her clit, and she's whipping herself with a belt.

    Keep her doing this, occasionally pausing for her to repeat her prayer, until you think she's earned forgiveness.

    I used to do this in the good old days before Skype by using a phone line, and it worked pretty well. But a video conference adds a nice dimension to it.

    Have fun!


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