Age difference normal?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Sub4Life, Aug 23, 2009.

  1. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    Heyy, I am new to the site, but have been into BDSM since I can remember, but am in my first D/s relationship now. I met him when I was on my way to visit the college I am currently attending.

    I am still a little embarresed of this, but he is thirty five and I am twenty... Are there more couples out there with age gaps like this??

    See part of my turn on is his age. He likes to remind me of it when he is dominating me... I am not sure how to explain it exactly, but I am very attracted to him being older, and it seems to heighten his dominance over me in a way.

    I guess i just wanted to get out there, but I also wondered if anyone felt the same as me? I hope I made sense :confused:

  2. Click here for more.
    I'm 26 and my master is 50. That's a 24 year age gap. But I absolutely love it :D

    The great thing is he doesn't act like a typical man of his age, and in his head is still 20. But I'm not sure if I see our ages as having a real impact on what we do. We've done a little bit of age play, but this isn't really for us, I don't think.

    Well, I guess sometimes it can be something of a turn on. It can be very delicious being pushed around by someone twice my age, and when we switch roles, I do like the fact that I have someone so much older under my control ;)

    Oh, and he is absolutely gorgeous. In mind, with his kindness and consideration and eagerness to push me to achieve new and potentially impossible things :) And older men can definitely be gorgeous to look at too...oh yeah! ;) :D

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    I don't see any problem with the age difference as long as you are of age (and you said you are). There is always going to be some stigma when you deal with age differences, both from inside as well as outside the BDSM community. As long as the two of you fulfill your parts of the relationship (I make no assumptions because every relationship is different), an as long as the two of you are happy in the relationship, does it really matter what the age difference is? Isn't age just a number? It is how you act and feel that matters, not what number is assigned to you.


  4. Click here for more.
    i think its wonderful, i myself cant ever seem to allow a man my own age to dominate me. i cant take them seriously. i like older men also because i feel like i can slip into my role a little better, i dont have to be equal, i can easily allow Him in my mind to be superior because he has more life experience if that makes sense.
  5. master jey

    master jey Moderator

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    when i was 16 i had "girlfriend" more SM partner then GF who was 28 i think it's normal
  6. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    I think it has to do with life experience more then age. I know that people who have a lot of life experience seem to be naturally held to a higher regard then those who are newer. when having surgery, we want the most experience doctor, when skydiving we want the most experience teacher, when in training we want the most experienced dominant... its the same story really, we as a people, as a species, feel more comfortable engaging in activities with someone who has the repetitive knowledge to do the job correctly with as few errors as possible, especially when our safety comes into play.
    Peopel generally aquate knowledge and experience with someone who is older, because its assumed they've had more time to perfect their abilities then you have, but here's the question...

    if you had to choose between two doms, one close to your age who had experienced a lot in life and had been an active dom for many years, or one twice your age that was just getting into the lifestyle and had never had a sub before, but played a few times at a club, what would you choose? The older dom with ltttle to no experience, or the younger one with lots of experience....

    EDIT: This very subject will be under discussion as my latest blog topic this week. Be sure to stop by!
  7. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    You're right Sparrow. Now that I think about it, it is his experience that I love so much. I have only been a his sub for a year or so, and this is my first BDSM relationship, so I am still rather "innocent" I suppose and with his experience comes an arrogance/comfidence/dominance I find sooo arousing :)
  8. subspace

    subspace Member

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    I definitely find it hard to take someone too young very seriously. It seems Dom's prefer their subs young and subs prefer their Doms to be older just in general. Everyone's situation is different but the very nature of a Dom is that they are experienced and this is very hard to come by in someone young/new to the scene.
    Of course if one takes the time to really look at the relationship it is the level of experience that should win out over age.

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    it does make me wonder how difficult it must be for a new Dom to start out....I thought it was difficult being a brand new subbie and having to fend off the hungry wolves haha....but imagine the bruising your ego would take as a new Dom getting looked down upon for not having experience. How else do you get experience but to try. I feel bad for not including younger men but even in a vanilla relationship i prefer older. Perhaps more experienced subs would feel comfortable with a new Dom? I'm not sure...
  10. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    Maybe. I would have a new dom if he was older lol.

    I dont know why, experience or not (but I love experience) I find older men incredibly sexy. I love Master's age :D

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    then dont let it be an embarassment to you, embrace it, flaunt it if that makes you feel good. there is no such thing as 'normal' just find what works for you and go with it! :)
  12. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    True..I just need to break the news to my parents haha.

    "Mom, Dad, I am dating a man 16 years older than me...he wants to bring me to Russia with him for a few months...yeah oh and he wants me to move in with him. OK?" haha

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    i understand the whole breaking the news to your parents, my dad is a cop, you can imagine how that goes over with new men in my life lol. I don't know your relationship with them, I am kind of a jerk in general so I told my pop that I was dating a criminal and that I needed money to pay off his drug dealer so he wouldnt kill him after I bailed him out. let it sink in. about the time pops was ready to start ranting, i said oh no thats from a book im reading, he's just older than me by a few years. :D
  14. Deviant Mistress

    Deviant Mistress New Member

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    My first ever d/s relationship was with a master who was 14 years my senior.... now I'm in one and I have switched but he's only a few years older

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