a few questions

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by nameless, Aug 24, 2010.

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  1. nameless

    nameless New Member

    Just finished reading that new people guide and i had no idea spanking could go wrong so glad i read it.
    Ok first question is how do i bring up my fetishs in a understanding way so people wont think i am weird because i am shy so i am not good with getting the right words out.

    Second question is there any way to see how much pain i can take before getting with someone else becuase i think my mind wants more than my body will be able to take.

    Third question i am normally only attracted to females and am not attracted to males at all but when i think about being tied up and controled and used for other peoples plesure i also get turned on about a man doing things to me aswell so is this normal or not.
     
  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    1. You don't have to announce your fetishes to the world but if you're talking to a partner the best way would probably be to sit them down and do your best to explain that you want a little something else out of sex (or the relationship). It might help to right down what you want to say first

    2. You're probably just going to let someone at you and decide your yourself when you've had enough. EXPERIMENT

    3. Yes it is normal.
     
  3. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    People won't understand so keep them to yourself no one needs to think you're a weirdo :) If you want to tell bout them to your partner have and open minded conversation show her all your cards conversation is a key to BDSM (as we all said million times)

    don't trust your mind :p

    It's OK I'm as well attracted to both genders and I think it's fine :)
     
  4. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    Agreed -

    I wouldn't go any farther than maybe a joke like - "You might need to spank me if I get out of hand!".
    Keep your preferences to yourself beyond that, and share with those you are close to. (start lightly)

    Jey is right - Don't trust your mind...... slp "just let someone at you"???? Well that is one way HaHa

    It's normal for you to have males in your bondage fantasies. For you to ask just means that you're not homo-phobic, but it doesn't mean that you are gay, or even bi.

    Welcome to the forum
     
  5. nameless

    nameless New Member

    now i just need to find a nice way to say i want you to tie me up, spank me and do other things to me. i did try to drop hints with one of my exs but i dont think she got that i wanted her to tie me up and finger me

    thanks for the welcome
     
  6. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    I just think the hands on method is the best!!!
    lol it makes sense to me
     
  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    1) Don't talk to just anyone. Some of the activities that we enjoy can be disturbing to vanilla people. So make sure that when you open up, you open up to someone you think won't freak out. That's not to say that you should be super cautious, but exercise a little caution until you know what they think about your interests.
    2) Pain play is best done with safe words, code words that tell the dom that you need to stop or slow down. There are some things you can explore on your own (such as clothespins on your tits), but in general, it's hard to do it on your own. Also, you may find that your limits are different with a master than on your own, so what you learn on your own may not be very useful.
    3) Yes, it's fairly normal. Straight male subs often enjoy the humiliation of having to serve a male dom.
     
  8. nameless

    nameless New Member

    when you say vanilla do you mean anything not do with all the fun stuff on this site
     
  9. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    I assume by "vanilla" you mean all that mushy gushy stuff where you say I love you and watch sunsets and cuddle and buy each other teddy bears

    ...teddy bears... <3 <3 <3
     
  10. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    Yeah vanilla sucks!
     
  11. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    'Vanilla' is a fairly common term for non-kinky people and non-kinky sex. BDSM can be quite romantic, just not in a traditional sense.
     
  12. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Yeah I mean my master gave me like five stuffed animals!! :D
     
  13. nameless

    nameless New Member

    i have a stuffed penguin and it is awesome
     
  14. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    I have stuffed gorilla :D
     
  15. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    I've got a cuuuute pink stuffed bear with magnetic hands and a pink stuffed pig and a pink stuffed octopus and a stuffed tarsier (not pink, unfortunately)
     
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