Advises about handcuffing my pet

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ATARJES, Jun 8, 2013.


    ATARJES New Member

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    I am new into active bdsm and i want to try something with my girlfriend-slave; we have done all the classic stuff wich includes, among other things, handcuffing her to almost every structure in my house, but it never was longer than one hour. I, however, wants it to get further, and i want to keep her handcuffed a whole weekend, literally.

    Do, you think it's recommendable or have you tried something like that with your pets before? Every advise will be appreciated.
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  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    You cannot keep her held in a specific position for too long (I'm not huge into bondage but Sebastian will know the times, and it may be in the Newcomer's FAQ, which you should read either way) without her blood flow being effected and nerve damage becoming possible.

    However, the more serious issue is one you may already know- you should never leave a person in bondage alone/out of sight. They cannot safeword out, if they get sick or hurt they can't leave, and if a fire or something starts, they and/or you cannot get out of the house easily. If you plan to have her in bondage all weekend, you have to plan to be home all weekend.

    There are alternatives for if you need to go out- you can leave her in a room with an 'alarm' for if she leaves it- something to be spilled or something stacked in a certain pattern that she wouldn't see. You can tie one hand in a way that it's not restricted too much (no restriction on the wrist and on a long enough cord to let her raise and lower it) with a key with a similar 'alarm' (perhaps she'd have to dip her hand in something staining) within reach. Both of these ensure both restriction and her ability to leave should she need to end the scene due to nerves, emergency, medical problems, whatever. A phone within reach would also be good, so she can contact you or dial 911 if she can't get out and needs to. Most cell phones show the last several people called, so you would be able to check whether it was used frivolously, or check her phone records (*see note below*).

    It is impossible or near impossible to keep someone restrained in bondage safely for as long as you want to, but hopefully this helps you figure out an arrangement.

    *I NEVER recommend a couple to keep track of who the other calls; that screams abuse and mistrust. However, checking just the hours you were away during a scene where she was told not to call out, an event preferably written down somewhere, would make it so there was no doubt as to her behaviour in the scene. I do not think that you are abusive or possessive, but I want to make it very clear that I am not recommending abuse.
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  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    If you're using handcuffs, make sure they are real, police-quality handcuffs, not the shitty ones sold in novelty stores. There are a couple good ways to know if you're using real cuffs or not. Real cuffs have two links between the cuffs; fake ones have three. Also, real cuffs have a simple-looking key that ends in a single loop with a short pin extending from it; fake cuffs usually have a 'gothic' looking key, with three loops on the end. Fake cuffs break easily, often have burrs and rough edges, can't be double-locked to prevent tightening, and simply aren't safe for use. Police-quality cuffs only cost $20-30, and can be ordered online, found in army surplus stores and uniform sales stores, and the like, so don't do handcuff bondage without them. And always double-lock the cuffs so they don't tighten and injure the sub.

    How long a sub can stay in a bondage position varies depending on the position; spread-eagle is very easy on the body, and I've heard of subs sleeping in some hogties. But most bondage positions place stress on some joints and many restrict blood flow. Positions like that can't be safely maintained for more than 15-30 minutes (depending on the sub and the position). Probably the safest position would be some variation on what you often seen in movies--the sub has one wrist cuffed, and the other end of the cuff is locked to a radiator or pipe. A position like that allows the sub to move his or her whole body and enables them to avoid cramping.

    Having said that, thought, keeping a sub handcuffed to a radiator for a whole weekend is a bad idea. The sub won't be able to use a toilet and will have to soil themselves, which will completely ruin the erotic edge of the scene. They won't sleep very well either. And, as Smallest notes, they will be unable to get away if a fire breaks out, they have a medical emergency, or something similar. What might work a little better would be to chain them to a radiator with a very long length of chain, and make sure that the key is accessible if an ER happens.

    But long-term confinement is not very interesting or erotic for the sub. I've talked to subs who've done it (weekend in a cage, for example) and they generally say that after an hour or two they just got bored. So while this might be your fantasy, it probably won't be much fun for you sub.

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