The (dis)liking for bondage

V.W. Singer · Feb 21, 2013

As a personal preference, I do not enjoy employing bondage at all (I'm a Dom). The willing compliance of the sub is a major turn on for me, even if it means having to tone down the actual punishment.

However, I seems to me that apart from the "Spanking" types, bondage is almost universal in BDSM play. Even the "B" in BDSM indicates the mental priority it receives. I was just wondering if this is primarily a preference of the subs or of the Doms? Any opinions?

In other words, do subs get tied up because it is something the Doms want, or because the Doms know that the subs will enjoy it? Hope that makes sense

sebastian · Feb 21, 2013

I think both doms and subs enjoy it. Bondage signifies control; for subs strict bondage makes them feel like they have no choice except to receive what is happening. Some enjoy struggling against the restraints, and for some that tension helps deal with the pain. Some doms wills do it because their sub enjoys it, and vice versa, but I think most people who do it enjoy it for itself and not for what their opposite number wants.

stanley_jeffries · Feb 21, 2013

I agree with Sebastian, but from a practical PoV if you think about the development of a new relationship, a sub should really trust a Dom(me) before they let them tie them up.

That implies there's some initial play between them without bondage...and, since a lot of relationships are short-lived, maybe they never progress beyond that stage.

Perhaps as a result, bondage is an aspiration for many of us, and that translates to its prominent use in the BDSM abbreviation.

Abstract_Alice · Feb 22, 2013

Sebastion hit the nail on the head with this one. I know my Master enjoys binding me and having full control and to me to be able to give her that gives me true happiness.

RFiend · Feb 24, 2013

For some, the bondage is a release. They *want* to feel slutty and dirty, and the bondage frees them from being responsible for what happens.

The (dis)liking for bondage

V.W. Singer

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sebastian

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stanley_jeffries

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Abstract_Alice

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RFiend

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