Discussion in 'Safety aspects of BDSM' started by FringeCast, Jun 26, 2011.

  1. FringeCast

    FringeCast New Member

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    Recently, my girlfriend has been begging me to inflict pain on her. I refuse, not because I'm timid, but I have no idea how to do so safely and with little or no injury, since we are both new to this.

    The only things we've been doing is dripping candle wax and using the paint brush whip. But she wants more. It seems she has a very strong masochistic streak, and this isn't enough.

    Any ideas?
  2. apex1o1

    apex1o1 New Member

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    read the newbie FAQ thread in general discussion forum
    its a huge help for safety aspects and ideas
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    There are tons of things you can do for pain play. Among the common forms of pain play are

    impact play: striking the sub with either an open hand (slapping, spanking) or with an implement (crop, paddle, slapper, flogger, whip, cane, or an improvised toy like a wooden spoon or hair brush)

    clamping: applying some sort of tight clamp, such as clothespins, binder clips, or tit clamps, to the nipples, genitals, ears, lips, or folds of skin along the belly and limbs. Simple pinching with fingers is another option.

    electro: using a purpose-built e-stim device to send electrical currents through parts of the sub's body

    hot wax: you've already discovered this one

    biting, cutting, and piercing: using the teeth or a clean razor blade or sterile knife to cut the skin or using needles to either prick or pierce the skin temporarily

    fire play: using fire and cool-burning flammable liquids to create brief bursts of heat

    sensation play: alternating painful sensations with other sensations to create unexpected contrasts. You can use ice cubes, toothbrushes, sandpaper, vampire gloves, wartenberg wheels, feathers, fur, silk, and many other things here

    I'm sure I've left some things out, but you get the idea of the range of things possible. For any form of play that you decide to explore, you should do some reading to discover the general consensus of what's safe, what's risky, and what's pleasantly painful and unpleasantly painful. Some forms of play have only minor risks, such as pinching and spanking, while others have very serious risks, such as cutting, electro, and fire play. These are forms of play you should seek out a teacher to learn how to do safely. Hot wax is actually rather advanced play--make sure you read up about what sorts of candles to use and not use, because different candles melt at different temperatures, which can greatly vary and run the risk of burning the sub. Regardless of what types of pain play you explore, you should be using safe words so that she can stop the action if she feels she's hit a limit or doesn't enjoy what's happening.

    Oh, and never inflict a form of pain on a sub that you haven't experienced yourself first. It's extremely important that you have some sense of what a particular sensation feels like before you ask a sub to receive it from you.
    Last edited: Jun 26, 2011

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