NEW Femdom - How do I inflict severe pain on my malesub

Drummergirl71 · Feb 4, 2013

Hi there, I am very new to the world of bdsm. My partner has indicated that he wants to be my slave. He wants to experience extreme pain at my hand. I am very open to this as I have always been a dominant women who enjoys the power I have over men.
I am reading a few books but I need to understand the type of pain that male subs find arousing.
I am excited about my new found position but want to ensure that I dish out the best pain but in a safe way.

Can someone please help me to learn to be the best Femdom I can be for my slave.

sebastian · Feb 4, 2013

Pain play is the most directly risky form of play, because if you screw up you can actually injure the sub. So you need to read about safety practices, practice your skills, and go slow. Don't try to be Ferocia the Queen of Pain by next weekend.

Start out talking about what kind of pain your sub thinks he's interested in exploring, and what kinds you are interested in. You might watch some porn vids (Bound Gods is great for male sub torture; Watch the closing sequence for each video--the performers discuss what it felt like).

Establish a safe word or two that are unambiguous, and make sure that your sub knows he can use them.

I would suggest starting with two basic tools--your hands and your teeth. Exploring pinching, spanking, and biting. Go lightly and slowly intensify until you've gotten a sense of how to inflict pain without causing injury.

Then get a riding crop. Practice on a pillow for a bit, and then use his butt. There's a post in the Newcomer's FAQ that discusses the basic no-hit zones on the body, so get familiar with that.

Then maybe explore improvised paddles, like rulers, wooden spoons, and hairbrushes. After that, consider a flogger.

That's assuming you want to get into impact play. Other fairly easy to master pain toys include clothespins and tit clamps. A wartenburg wheel can be amazingly fun.

My advice would be to avoid electro, hot wax, and single-tail whips until you're much more experienced. These are substantially more complicated toys, and not for novices.

Drummergirl71 · Feb 4, 2013

Thank you

Your response has been very helpful.

reduk · Jul 7, 2013

that is sound advice from Sebastian. too many people jump straight in and try things that they do not yet have the skill set for. I know because I have made that mistake and it is no fun for either party.

Forgotten angel · Sep 21, 2013

Safety is a big deal. Its hard to have fun when youre worried if your mistress is going to disfigure you lol. By doing the research and maybe having a few trial periods itll help you both be more confident, and its easier to enjoy the pain if you are relaxed. Plus theres nothing sexier than a confident Mistress.

NEW Femdom - How do I inflict severe pain on my malesub

Drummergirl71

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sebastian

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Drummergirl71

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reduk

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Forgotten angel

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