Inexperienced master looking for help...

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Panda's Master, Dec 26, 2011.

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  1. Panda's Master

    Panda's Master New Member

    My slave is getting bored. claims i haven't been strict enough. i need some ideas on things to do to her. some of the stuff i've done already has been locking her in the closet for 5 mins or so, whipping her with a belt, cum shower, orgasm denial, ice, turning a vibrator all the way up from the start without warming her up for it, and stuff like that. give me some other ideas please?

    also one thing i'd really like to do. she's not big on oral. in fact she can't even physically do it. i wanna train her to be able to do it and she's willing to learn. what is the best way to start training her with that? should i just stick it in a very small amount and squirt or should i have her slowly deepthroat to start or how should i start it?
     
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Don't think of BDSM as just about sex. If she's you're slave, she should be serving you outside the bedroom. What would you like a slave/servant to do for you? In what ways could a slave make your life easier? Run errands for you? Cook you dinner? Polish your shoes? Give you a quick massage every night?

    Think of this as being about living out power exchange, not just about playing a kinky sexual game.
     
  3. Panda's Master

    Panda's Master New Member

    well we're looking at it as more of a sex thing than anything bc we're actually dating outside the bedroom so we're trying to find a balance
     
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  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I don't understand why it's just a sex thing if you're dating outside of bedroom, but okay. Sebastian had a good start. Just clarify- do you only want bedroom suggestions, or both?

    For oral, don't even start with cumming in her mouth. Ease her into it, just making her take it part way at a time, and let her get used to it. Before you cum in her mouth, let her lick it up from elsewhere- it's actually quite a bit harder on one, but it won't have the same associations, and will get her used to it.
     
  5. Panda's Master

    Panda's Master New Member

    mostly just bedroom ideas. we talked about doing some stuff out of the bedroom but we got the gist of that already. bedroom ideas are what we want. thanks for the tip on the other part tho
     
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  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    To help her get comfortable with oral, have her treat your cock like a popsicle. Lots of licking the shaft, tongue-work on the head, and so on. Have her gradually work to putting it in her mouth for increasingly long periods of time. Let her stop when her jaw gets tired (as it will, if she doesn't have a lot of oral experience). And she should be using her hand to stroke your shaft when she's not licking it.
     
  7. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    And if she's only a slave in the bedroom, develop bedroom protocols. When you order her into the bedroom, give her rules for what she is to be wearing when you find her in the bedroom.

    For example, on your command, she is to go into the bedroom, strip down to her panties (or put on a teddy and stockings or whatever), kneel with her hands flat on her thighs and wait for you. When you enter the room, she is to lean forward, kiss your feet, return to her kneeling posture, and say "I await your command, my master. What pleasure can I provide you tonight?" She is go through this ritual EVERY TIME the two of you get ready for sex.

    BDSM isn't just about doing kinky things sexually. It's about creating a framework within which dom and sub exchange power. Rituals like this create the framework and remind both of you that you are not equals during the period when the rituals are in force. The purpose of protocols is partly to remind both of you of the power exchange, so you don't treat each other like vanilla partners. So develop a set of rituals to bookend your power exchange. Perhaps the ritual above starts the power exchange and at the end, she kneels and asks permission to climb into your bed to sleep. Once that permission is granted, you two go back to being equal partners until the next time.
     
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  8. Panda's Master

    Panda's Master New Member

    hm seems like a good way to start. thanks
     
  9. Knots

    Knots Member

    Physical "inspections" can be quite useful.

    My slave is required to do all sorts of things, such as shave regularly, stay fit and healthy (I'm into weight control...) and etc. Often when arriving at her place or when she comes into my room, I have her strip nude, stand in the centre of the room in a particular position (our inspection position) and "inspect" her (which I do in such a way that is quite intrusive and thorough). It strips her of dignity, objectifies her and makes her aspire to a high standard to please me and pass the inspection; really good for putting her in that place where she's ready to serve.
     
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  10. Panda's Master

    Panda's Master New Member

    sounds like a good idea. what kind of other inspections besides shaved and healthy weight?
     
  11. Aibo

    Aibo Member

    Oral, well some simply wont be able to. I know that from experience, so if she's unable then its a fact. It always triggered the puking reflex. Now with the experience of that same partner, she would find it completely unsatisfactory to be only locked in for 5 minutes, and in fact I could find more to give as example on that - make it some hours instead. :)
    But everyone is different and it is you who are on location to talk and exchange views, so all I can say is good luck.
     
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  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    You could inspect her for the firmness of her ass or tits, the tightness of her various holes, the flatness of her stomach, the muscle tone of her arms and legs. In part it depends on whether you want to make humiliation an element of your play. If you just want to be a strict master, inspect and grade those parts of her body she can easily control (for things like being properly shaven), or for things she would have to work out to achieve (flat abs, nice ass, etc). If you want to humiliate her (assuming she enjoys that sort of play) be more intrusive--check her anus and pussy for tightness, cleanliness or wetness. You might evaluate her as if you were buying a horse--does she have good teeth and so on.

    You might also set standards for wearing or not wearing perfume or deodorant and other grooming issues. Decide what you like and require her to maintain that standard. This obviously touches on outside the bedroom issues, and since she isn't a 24/7 slave, you need to discuss with her whether she's willing to accept those rules from you to facilitate your bedroom play.

    You could also give her some slave postures (google something like 'bdsm slave positions' and you'll find pages devoted to that) and evaluate how well she has learned them. You could be demanding, like a ballet teacher ('No, keep your back straight! Your knees are too close together! You need to practice more!"). But remember to praise her when she gets it right. Remember that harshness when a slave fails needs to be balanced with praise when a slave succeeds. That's how you build the deeper emotional bond between master and slave.
     
  13. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I disagree, Aibo. She could get over it possibly, but if not, she doesn't need to deep throat him
     
  14. Andre

    Andre New Member

    There are flavored gels you could use on your cock too. That might help her with the taste and sensations. And definitely start out with just having it in her mouth, not trying to deep throat. It is an odd thing really. How often otherwise do we have something live in our mouths, know what I mean? She may be worried she'll scrape you or bite you by accident too. Go slowly and gently on that.
     
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