Inexperienced master looking for help...

Panda's Master · Dec 26, 2011

My slave is getting bored. claims i haven't been strict enough. i need some ideas on things to do to her. some of the stuff i've done already has been locking her in the closet for 5 mins or so, whipping her with a belt, cum shower, orgasm denial, ice, turning a vibrator all the way up from the start without warming her up for it, and stuff like that. give me some other ideas please?

also one thing i'd really like to do. she's not big on oral. in fact she can't even physically do it. i wanna train her to be able to do it and she's willing to learn. what is the best way to start training her with that? should i just stick it in a very small amount and squirt or should i have her slowly deepthroat to start or how should i start it?

sebastian · Dec 26, 2011

Don't think of BDSM as just about sex. If she's you're slave, she should be serving you outside the bedroom. What would you like a slave/servant to do for you? In what ways could a slave make your life easier? Run errands for you? Cook you dinner? Polish your shoes? Give you a quick massage every night?

Think of this as being about living out power exchange, not just about playing a kinky sexual game.

Panda's Master · Dec 26, 2011

well we're looking at it as more of a sex thing than anything bc we're actually dating outside the bedroom so we're trying to find a balance

Smallest · Dec 26, 2011

I don't understand why it's just a sex thing if you're dating outside of bedroom, but okay. Sebastian had a good start. Just clarify- do you only want bedroom suggestions, or both?

For oral, don't even start with cumming in her mouth. Ease her into it, just making her take it part way at a time, and let her get used to it. Before you cum in her mouth, let her lick it up from elsewhere- it's actually quite a bit harder on one, but it won't have the same associations, and will get her used to it.

Panda's Master · Dec 26, 2011

mostly just bedroom ideas. we talked about doing some stuff out of the bedroom but we got the gist of that already. bedroom ideas are what we want. thanks for the tip on the other part tho

sebastian · Dec 26, 2011

To help her get comfortable with oral, have her treat your cock like a popsicle. Lots of licking the shaft, tongue-work on the head, and so on. Have her gradually work to putting it in her mouth for increasingly long periods of time. Let her stop when her jaw gets tired (as it will, if she doesn't have a lot of oral experience). And she should be using her hand to stroke your shaft when she's not licking it.

sebastian · Dec 26, 2011

And if she's only a slave in the bedroom, develop bedroom protocols. When you order her into the bedroom, give her rules for what she is to be wearing when you find her in the bedroom.

For example, on your command, she is to go into the bedroom, strip down to her panties (or put on a teddy and stockings or whatever), kneel with her hands flat on her thighs and wait for you. When you enter the room, she is to lean forward, kiss your feet, return to her kneeling posture, and say "I await your command, my master. What pleasure can I provide you tonight?" She is go through this ritual EVERY TIME the two of you get ready for sex.

BDSM isn't just about doing kinky things sexually. It's about creating a framework within which dom and sub exchange power. Rituals like this create the framework and remind both of you that you are not equals during the period when the rituals are in force. The purpose of protocols is partly to remind both of you of the power exchange, so you don't treat each other like vanilla partners. So develop a set of rituals to bookend your power exchange. Perhaps the ritual above starts the power exchange and at the end, she kneels and asks permission to climb into your bed to sleep. Once that permission is granted, you two go back to being equal partners until the next time.

Panda's Master · Dec 26, 2011

hm seems like a good way to start. thanks

Knots · Dec 26, 2011

Physical "inspections" can be quite useful.

My slave is required to do all sorts of things, such as shave regularly, stay fit and healthy (I'm into weight control...) and etc. Often when arriving at her place or when she comes into my room, I have her strip nude, stand in the centre of the room in a particular position (our inspection position) and "inspect" her (which I do in such a way that is quite intrusive and thorough). It strips her of dignity, objectifies her and makes her aspire to a high standard to please me and pass the inspection; really good for putting her in that place where she's ready to serve.

Panda's Master · Dec 27, 2011

sounds like a good idea. what kind of other inspections besides shaved and healthy weight?

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