Converting a Nilla to the Dark Side

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by sweetkink, Aug 11, 2009.

  1. sweetkink

    sweetkink New Member

    i'm naturally polyamorous. i have long term male partner and very recently we've been lucky enough to add a third for occasional play. she is already interested in becoming part of a poly relationship with us. this would be great news to us, but she's vanilla. we havent disclosed our bdsm lifestyle with her. she is very young and i'm not sure if she even has an inkling about bdsm. she is very kinky for a nilla, and willing to do anything!

    we'd love to try poly with her. but bdsm is important to us and cant be left out of the equation. my question is, how do i broach the subject with her? is it responsible of me to encourage her in this direction since she's very impressionable? i'm afraid she'd go along with it just to please us. any thoughts?
  2. monocrome

    monocrome Member

    communication ftw. what you just said up there - especially the part about her maybe just going along with it to please you - you need to say that to her. :)

    just my 2 cents.
  3. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    i don't really think you have to say something start action and she'll get along
    Last edited: Aug 12, 2009
  4. Agreed. Start action slowly and she will know for herself if she is interested. Sometimes just talking about it just might be more of a scare tactic if the individual has never considered it before.
  5. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    if you'll talk bout it with her week earlier or something like this she'll have time to think and yes she will be scared just do what you want and she'll get along during sex you only think bout sex and nothing more
  6. subspace

    subspace Member

    Maybe it's just me but this girl doesn't seem very vanilla. I understand that she is unfamiliar with BDSM but to be an active participant in a poly relationship is far vanilla sex. My guess is that if you approach the subject of BDSM slowly she will more than likely jump right in. Just be very careful with someone young , impressionable and eager to please...sounds like a dream but could backfire in a huge way as she matures and comes into her own more. Good luck but be careful!
  7. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    belive me girl is kinky enaugh to drop vanilla
  8. monocrome

    monocrome Member

    just putting in my 2 cents: i TOTALLY disagree here... at least, for me.
  9. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    well i had once thet i didn't think bout sex and i havent came for 2 hours the girl almost died....
  10. Little_M

    Little_M Member

    I would definitely recommend talking about it beforehand... I mean, it should be consensual. My suggestion would be to start off slow, with something fairly tame like, "Do you mind if we tie you up this time?" and using some simple bondage, then gauging how they felt about that. Who knows? If she's open-minded to a poly-amorous relationship, she'd likely be up for bondage, and even some more intense pain-play later on, perhaps.
  11. J zero

    J zero Member

    i would just say something like...

    "So, how would you like to be tied up and whipped?"

  12. monocrome

    monocrome Member

    consensuality is extremely important!!! i doubly vote for communicating with her now and not just "jumping into" things.
  13. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    me 2

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