Converting a Nilla to the Dark Side

sweetkink · Aug 11, 2009

i'm naturally polyamorous. i have long term male partner and very recently we've been lucky enough to add a third for occasional play. she is already interested in becoming part of a poly relationship with us. this would be great news to us, but she's vanilla. we havent disclosed our bdsm lifestyle with her. she is very young and i'm not sure if she even has an inkling about bdsm. she is very kinky for a nilla, and willing to do anything!

we'd love to try poly with her. but bdsm is important to us and cant be left out of the equation. my question is, how do i broach the subject with her? is it responsible of me to encourage her in this direction since she's very impressionable? i'm afraid she'd go along with it just to please us. any thoughts?

monocrome · Aug 12, 2009

sweetkink said:
i'm naturally polyamorous. i have long term male partner and very recently we've been lucky enough to add a third for occasional play. she is already interested in becoming part of a poly relationship with us. this would be great news to us, but she's vanilla. we havent disclosed our bdsm lifestyle with her. she is very young and i'm not sure if she even has an inkling about bdsm. she is very kinky for a nilla, and willing to do anything!

we'd love to try poly with her. but bdsm is important to us and cant be left out of the equation. my question is, how do i broach the subject with her? is it responsible of me to encourage her in this direction since she's very impressionable? i'm afraid she'd go along with it just to please us. any thoughts?

communication ftw. what you just said up there - especially the part about her maybe just going along with it to please you - you need to say that to her.

just my 2 cents.

master jey · Aug 12, 2009

i don't really think you have to say something start action and she'll get along

Santuary Freak · Aug 12, 2009

master jey said:
i don't really think you have to say something start action and she'll get along

Agreed. Start action slowly and she will know for herself if she is interested. Sometimes just talking about it just might be more of a scare tactic if the individual has never considered it before.

master jey · Aug 12, 2009

if you'll talk bout it with her week earlier or something like this she'll have time to think and yes she will be scared just do what you want and she'll get along during sex you only think bout sex and nothing more

subspace · Aug 12, 2009

Maybe it's just me but this girl doesn't seem very vanilla. I understand that she is unfamiliar with BDSM but to be an active participant in a poly relationship is far vanilla sex. My guess is that if you approach the subject of BDSM slowly she will more than likely jump right in. Just be very careful with someone young , impressionable and eager to please...sounds like a dream but could backfire in a huge way as she matures and comes into her own more. Good luck but be careful!

master jey · Aug 12, 2009

belive me girl is kinky enaugh to drop vanilla

monocrome · Aug 13, 2009

master jey said:
during sex you only think bout sex and nothing more

just putting in my 2 cents: i TOTALLY disagree here... at least, for me.

master jey · Aug 13, 2009

just putting in my 2 cents: i TOTALLY disagree here... at least, for me.

well i had once thet i didn't think bout sex and i havent came for 2 hours the girl almost died....

Little_M · Aug 14, 2009

I would definitely recommend talking about it beforehand... I mean, it should be consensual. My suggestion would be to start off slow, with something fairly tame like, "Do you mind if we tie you up this time?" and using some simple bondage, then gauging how they felt about that. Who knows? If she's open-minded to a poly-amorous relationship, she'd likely be up for bondage, and even some more intense pain-play later on, perhaps.

Converting a Nilla to the Dark Side

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