I'm an ex self harmer who stopped by the age 19. I found myself to be cutting not for the fact i was upset, angry or whatever normal self harmers do, but more because i enjoyed the pain so much I found it addictive. I stopped because my partner at the time begged me to. I never hated myself. Shortly after that relationship ended I met someone else whom i experimented with the possibilities of me being more masochistic than anything. Mainly cutting along with hitting and strangulation. All of which i thoroughly enjoy. The only problem being I don't find myself to be sexually aroused by this, just mentally. I couldn't orgasm from sex involving these activities and much rather this kind of pleasure be separate from sex. What does this make me? Am I a masochist? Am I something else?