So I bought a spreader bar

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by RS1981, Aug 9, 2011.

  1. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    I bought a locking wrist and ankle spreader bar for future use (My pet is long distance atm but she can at least use the ankle part.) from extreme restraints, and I was wondering if anyone had any ideas on how we can use it besides the positions I saw in the pictures or for just fucking and spanking. I have a pretty good imagination for this kind of stuff, but for some reason the ideas for this piece of equipment aren't coming to me. We also have a flogger, clover clamps, a butt plug, a few vibrating dildos, a wartenberg wheel, rope, a tower of pain, pussy pump, and a doggie bone gag. Considering those options, how do you suggest we combine them for our face to face play?
  2. anal-dildoer

    anal-dildoer New Member

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    Just curious... is it possible to post a picture of the spreader bar?
  3. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

  4. kajmir

    kajmir Member

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    Planning is good.
    With that said, why not NOT plan the first time you come face to face.
    Take it easy and see what happens.
    First time meetings are already pressure, for both of you.
    Have a few things you really want to do in mind and let it go frm there.

    Hope this made some sense.
  5. HisFox

    HisFox Member

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    Hmm as far as I understood they've met before... Am i right? :)
  6. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    Actually no we haven't met face to face yet, we've been in an online relationship for a few years and it's a long complicated story as to why we haven't met. But we've recently gotten into BDSM over the phone and online and we both love it. She enjoys tying herself up and inflicting pain on herself for me, and we both know it'll be even better and more intense when we meet, hopefully by the end of the year. In a way the long drawn out build up has been good because we've been able to explore and build up our desire for each other over time.
  7. HisFox

    HisFox Member

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    Aha, I see now. Well good luck for the both of you, hope things will work out well!
  8. Nuka

    Nuka Member

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    Stand her upright and if you can tie her hands above her head (to a curtain rail, hook or similar thing) and spread her legs. You don't then have to do anything as such, but just the inability to close her legs to shrug away from whatever you're doing to her. (The instinctive defence thing).

    You can then incorporate plugs, vibrators, the tower, clips, clamps, whipping etc into your play. In this sense you're using the bar as a restraint so she can't move her legs (arms tied abover her head stops her running away :p) rather than using it as a tool to keep her exposed.

    With her stood up too you can use any toys for forced orgasm etc, and if you use rope through a hook or curtain rail, when you do want to finally have intercourse, you can untie or lower her arms, keeping her legs in the same place and just bend her over.

    For a first time meet you don't want to go too hard too fast. Okay you've had an online relationship for a while, and no matter what you two have already done, it doesn't change nerves and tensions, and embaressment in person. Go hard and make an impact, but not so hard you scare her off or really shock her. Remember, she'll already have a view of you in her minds eye of what you're like in person. You don't want to completely destroy that.

    Would you mind posting or pming me some of the things you've done over the net in the way of bondage, play, domination etc? I am currently away from my sub for another month or so and I want to give her more things to do but I'm drawing a blank atm.
  9. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    Good ideas Nuk, I already had something like that in mind for the spreader bar, I just need to figure out exactly how to do it in my apartment. As far as nerves go, trust me, I'm nervous too. It'll be the first time I do anything like this to someone in real life, so I'm nervous about hurting her too bad, but that's why I plan to go very slowly the first few days she's here. I'm sure it'll be fine, but of course it's always good to be cautious. As for what we've done long distance, in addition to casual 24/7 rules, right now it's been mostly through phone sex, pics and videos from her cell phone. She loves inflicting pain on herself with the various toys I've bought her, and she's taken pics and videos using some of them. She's found that phone sex is MUCH better when she's in bondage or using those toys, because it gives her just enough of an artificial sense of powerlessness to make her orgasms that much better. We also plan on getting webcams soon too so I can direct her on the fly and she won't be distracted by messing with her phone.
  10. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

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    I just thought of something but I'm not exactly sure how to do it. I've had my eye on the forced orgasm tower on extreme restraints for a while, but I feel like I could somehow rig up something like that for much cheaper using the spreader bar and some cuffs or rope. I would have to be able to remove the restraints of course in case I want to use them for other things. I don't have access to power tools either so that would be out of the question. With that said, does anyone have any ideas on how to do this?
  11. war1022

    war1022 New Member

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    I am in a BDSM club and we rigged up a couple of forced orgasm towers so to speak using a Vibe Rider. Search it on the web and you'll find it. It's 12 volt so it's powerful to say the least. It didn't take much planning to build two platforms to tie the subs into and then turn on the vibes. The Vibe Rider is made to work through a motorcycle seat, so it has some power. Using it direct on a clit will melt a sub VERY quickly!

    I have a Goldwing motorcycle and even installed one on it. I have gotten off some very surprised ladies that wanted to "ride" the bike. Women love to ride motorcycles! Go out on the interstate as kind of bondage (where is she going to go) and turn it and her on. Several got off (pun intended) the bike very red faced.

    But if you want power, this has got it!

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