Please

kajmir · Jun 18, 2011

Can someone help me out with a BRIEF but clear explaination of the difference between a sub and a bottom. Having some trouble explaining it...

subarama30 · Jun 18, 2011

For me I think a bottom is limited to a particular situation and has the potential to switch to top in another circumstance whereas as a sub I would say that I don't want to be in a dominant position at all.

sebastian · Jun 18, 2011

Originally there wasn't any difference--the two were synonyms. Nowadays, at least within the gay community, top/bottom refers to sexual positions (bottom is the receptive partner, top the insertive). Being a bottom has nothing to do with being submissive, which is more about attitude and control.

In the straight community, though, I suspect that bottom still strongly connotes submissive.

kajmir · Jun 18, 2011

You're both fired.

Back in the vanilla days I always aquainted bottom as a position as well.
But now I'm feeling confused.
What the hell am I if not a bottom.
I had assumed that was what I am.

sillylittlepet · Jun 18, 2011

I always thought the bottom is the person who "takes" it, aka they like to be on the bottom and they don't initiate much in the bedroom. Its not necessarily a BDSM thing, you just dont like to be as in control in the bedroom.

A sub takes that to another level where they intentionally submit to the will of their master/mistress

I think they're pretty similar, only one is specific to BDSM

kajmir · Jun 18, 2011

I always assumed that because I'm not AS submissive it made me a bottom.
I also assumed that because I am not 24/7 I was a bottom.

sillylittlepet · Jun 18, 2011

well I mean, you can call yourself whatever you want

kajmir · Jun 18, 2011

Maybe next post is more helpful...been fantasying more and more about it.

Kor · Jun 19, 2011

Bottom is about sex. Submissive is about mind.

kajmir · Jun 19, 2011

I'm willing and do submit, just I find myself not AS submissive as many woman on here.
But at least I know now that I am a sub...just the lighter side.
I have to admit, I wish I was more intense...But there has to be someone for me? I have made several Masters pretty happy...

I try to remember what Seb has suggested, do you REALLY do everything and look at his list, find it hard to believe that many sub's submit that far, not say that there isn't some.

-sigh-

Please

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