Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by kajmir, Jun 18, 2011.

  1. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Can someone help me out with a BRIEF but clear explaination of the difference between a sub and a bottom. Having some trouble explaining it...
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  2. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

    For me I think a bottom is limited to a particular situation and has the potential to switch to top in another circumstance whereas as a sub I would say that I don't want to be in a dominant position at all.
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Originally there wasn't any difference--the two were synonyms. Nowadays, at least within the gay community, top/bottom refers to sexual positions (bottom is the receptive partner, top the insertive). Being a bottom has nothing to do with being submissive, which is more about attitude and control.

    In the straight community, though, I suspect that bottom still strongly connotes submissive.
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  4. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    You're both fired.

    Back in the vanilla days I always aquainted bottom as a position as well.
    But now I'm feeling confused.
    What the hell am I if not a bottom.
    I had assumed that was what I am.
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2011
  5. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    I always thought the bottom is the person who "takes" it, aka they like to be on the bottom and they don't initiate much in the bedroom. Its not necessarily a BDSM thing, you just dont like to be as in control in the bedroom.

    A sub takes that to another level where they intentionally submit to the will of their master/mistress

    I think they're pretty similar, only one is specific to BDSM
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  6. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I always assumed that because I'm not AS submissive it made me a bottom.
    I also assumed that because I am not 24/7 I was a bottom.
  7. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    well I mean, you can call yourself whatever you want
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  8. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Maybe next post is more helpful...been fantasying more and more about it.
  9. Kor

    Kor Member

    Bottom is about sex. Submissive is about mind.
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  10. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I'm willing and do submit, just I find myself not AS submissive as many woman on here.
    But at least I know now that I am a sub...just the lighter side.
    I have to admit, I wish I was more intense...But there has to be someone for me? I have made several Masters pretty happy...

    I try to remember what Seb has suggested, do you REALLY do everything and look at his list, find it hard to believe that many sub's submit that far, not say that there isn't some. :)

    Last edited: Jun 19, 2011
  11. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    what did seb suggest?

    Everybody has a different level of submission!
  12. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Yeah, I'm curious too. What did I suggest? Which post of mine are you thinking of?
  13. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Well he has that brillant list:

    Would you like to:
    be tied up so you can move a little?
    be tied up so you can't move at all?
    be gagged?
    be blindfolded?
    be tied up, gagged, and blindfolded?
    have your tits tortured?
    have your pussy tortured?
    be spanked?
    pricked with needles?
    have hot wax poured on you?
    be required to perform fellatio on command?
    be required to perform oral sex on your master's friends?
    be kept naked?
    be kept naked around your master's friends?
    be required to have sex as others watch?
    be penetrated anally?
    be penetrated vaginally?
    be penetrated by your master's friends?
    have someone piss on you?
    be forced to drink piss?
    have obscenities written on you?
    be insulted?
    be insulted while others watch?
    be laughed at?
    be kept in cage for hours?
    be chained to a wall?
    be forced to clean house naked?
    be forced to act like a dog?
    be used as a footstool?
    be cut with razors and bled lightly?
    be pierced with needles?
    be branded?
    be scarred?

    There's a lot I won't do. So I've got thre things I'm kind of stuck on right now and I know I had them before I left as well.

    1. Am I submissive enough?
    2. I feel awkward with myself.
    3. Confused reguarding my place.

    I haven't really asked him, he prolly thinks I worry too damn much about things. But when people are discussing limits/levels he often throws out the list, it really is rather a good one. Problem is it makes me very aware of how limiting I am.

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