Is this dangerous?

Discussion in 'Safety aspects of BDSM' started by Wayneman, Apr 26, 2013.

  1. Wayneman

    Wayneman Guest

    I am actively seeking a sadist and to agree upon my punishment with no safe word. So no mater how much I beg and cry she keeps going to the point we agreed on. I want to be treated like meat. For instance 50 lashes to the back, 50 ass and back leg hits, 30 hits on each leg on front, 50 hits on chest, and urethra stretching, maybe being forced to orgasm and she keeps going so it hurts, maybe also being forced to drink piss and eat my cum. Im thinking it probably is not dangerous but I want others view on this. My thinking is I will heal and be fine. We would agree to minimize broken skin so there would be no scars or permanent marks. I have already been beat till I cried once and I was fine after with only minimum blood and I healed.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2013
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    How much experience do you have with pain play? Are you a novice, or have you done this before? Don't count self-flagellation--when you torture yourself you always know exactly how much you can take and you always know when to stop. So how much experience do you have with other people torturing you?
  3. Wayneman

    Wayneman Guest

    I have some experience. I was once beat until I cried. My ass was whipped and it bled slightly and some of my back was also hit. She turned me around and whipped my front area around my genitals including my legs and stomach. She also came up and hit my junk with something hard. I just looking to take it slightly farther without the cbt. I realized that it will probably hurt my fertility. But without the cbt it will take me longer to cry if I even do from something like i mentioned above.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 26, 2013
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Ok, it sounds like you have enough experience to know that you can actually take reasonably heavy pain. CBT does have risks, but the current thinking seems to be that it won't curtail fertility in the long run (although it might in the short term). It does have other risks (a ruptured testicle can be potentially fatal, for example), so it's best to avoid extreme force there. But you can play with stretching, clothespins and the like. But with the kind of heavy beating you're seeking, there's a good chance you'll get broken skin, so try to schedule it when you'll have a day or two to recover just in case. But there's a lot of variation from person to person about how easily they bruise, how easily the skin breaks, and so on. I've done fairly heavy caning with my slave, and never yet broken his skin, although a few of the marks took a couple days to fade.

    I don't recommend playing without a safe word with a domme you've only just met. She needs to get to know you, how you react to pain, where your sensitive spots are, and so on. And you need it until you know that she knows what she's doing (it would totally suck to agree to play without a safe word and then realize she doesn't know you can't strike the lower back. A mistake like that could land you in the hospital very fast.) Only when she's really familiar with you should you two consider dropping the safe word. You need to have that last line of defense in case she accidentally injures you. So, what I always tell people looking to do extreme play is make it a goal to be worked toward, not a fantasy to be realized in the short term.
  5. middletown77

    middletown77 New Member

    If you are lucky enough to find a FEMDOM to go extreme on you I advice JUST ENJOY , let HER go until you loose sense and after you you come to yourself SHE can just continue..... :)
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Middletown, that's a nice fantasy, but as I explained to the OP, it's terrible advice in practice. Actually trying to do that runs a good chance of putting the sub in the hospital or the morgue. It's extremely important to realize that what makes for a hot fantasy can be extremely dangerous in practice.
  7. middletown77

    middletown77 New Member

    but if your mind is targetted to this at least don't you have to try once? :)
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    That's a fair question. First, keep in mind that the OP was talking about a domme he didn't know. Doing edge play (and being beaten unconscious is definitely edge play) with an unfamiliar domme without a safe word is asking for a serious injury. Since he doesn't know her, he doesn't know how skilled and competent she is. If she's a novice domme, there's a good chance that she could take a scene like that way beyond his limits or do stupid, dangerous things (years ago here on SMplace, we got a post from someone whose novice domme GF poured boiling water on him). Even if she's experienced, if she's never played with him before, she may not recognize the small signs he's reached his limit, and without a safe word, he has no way to tell her to stop.

    Second, let's talk about beating to unconsciousness, which I think is what you're really talking about. Keep in mind that I'm not a medical doctor, just a kinkster who has worked to educate himself about risks. Assuming that we're talking about a fainting spell (and not say, a concussion from head trauma), the first thing to worry about is how the sub is supported. If he's standing up and he faints, he may fall violently; if he's lying down or well-restrained, that's less likely. (Was the domme in question experienced enough to anticipate this? Can she get him out of bondage easily, and support his weight as she lays him down, so she can assess his situation?)

    But let's assume that he's safe that way; perhaps he was strapped to a flogging bench. Why did he faint? Was it a simple vasovagal fainting spell, caused by a drop in blood pressure? Did he vomit and aspirate his vomit--in other words did he faint because he's choking? Did he faint because the beating triggered a heart attack or a stroke? Did he faint because the stress triggered an asthma attack? Did she accidentally hit his heart and cause commotio cardis--rare but not impossible with some forms of impact play? If he was suspended in bondage, did she trigger harness hang syndrome by leaving him there too long (and does she know that she needs to get him out of a vertical position as quickly as possible)? Did a rope slip and cut off his air pipe? All of these are possible scenarios when someone is being beaten to the point of unconsciousness.

    Now, if the sub simply fainted from a vasovagal incident, and the domme gets him into a prone position, there's a good chance he'll recover. But that assumes that the domme has enough understanding of BDSM practices and first aid to respond properly. If she just waits until he comes to and then immediately begins beating him again, there's a good chance she's going to trigger a second fainting spell, which increases the chance that he's going to suffer serious damage. If he fainted because of low blood pressure during a vasovagal incident and she keeps beating him, I think (again, I'm not a medical doctor) that that will prolong the low blood pressure, and increase the risk of a heart attack or stroke. And if he fainted for some other reason and she just keeps beating him, there's a good chance he'll die.

    A good rule of thumb is that when a sub passes out, play stops and the sub needs to be assessed by someone who can figure out the causes and treat them properly. Anything that leads to unconsciousness has the potential to be extremely dangerous--death or long-term medical problems.

    And BDSM must always be safe, sane, and consensual. At the absolute, bare minimum, the sub needs to understand that the fantasy he is pursuing is an extremely dangerous one, one that might, if things go badly, result in his death. My personal opinion is that no amount of sexual gratification is worth the risk of death, but another kinkster might disagree and might be willing to incur that risk in pursuit of his ecstasy. If so, he needs to make sure that his will is in order, his partner is prepared for his death, and that any dependents are provided for.

    My basic point is this: some fantasies are too dangerous to actually live out. Anyone who gets seriously into kink needs to learn how to recognize dangerous forms of play, how to minimize the risks that can be minimized, and when to back away from a fantasy. There are many things that sound really hot when you read the fantasy, but when you actually get into them, you realize they're not very fun, or they're really dangerous. Smart kinksters are usually long-lived kinksters; dumb kinksters often aren't.
  9. middletown77

    middletown77 New Member

    Yes you are right, thnxs
  10. DearElliot

    DearElliot Member

    For pain I prefer she use a needle..or sharp hook, itis quite painful but leaves very little marks. I play often with needles, My domme decides how much and she is brutal about it, but I am seriously obedient and enthusiastic to any whim she may have. The fore play is equsally as erotic as the actual use of needles, just showing me the needles and telling me what she plans has me throbbing and shaking.

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