Forced orgasm

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by jackk frost, Jul 1, 2012.

  1. jackk frost

    jackk frost New Member


    Obviously I'm new here. My wife and I have gotten into BDSM. I have been trying to preform forced orgasms on her for a few weeks with little success. She normally resorts to using her safe word which I always respect because she can not take the immense pleasure. I have not been able to reach her to orgasm with the wand although other toys with less vibration work but that is more in the lines of vanilla sex than me dominating her.

    I want to be able to force her into multiple intense orgasm's with a wand type massager and get her to the point she can take the intensity of the scene. She is ok with trying this but we never make

    Last night I was able to kinda play this scene out as I used a rabbit vibrator on her while pinching around her clit and holding it up while letting the rabbit vibrate her clit. She had 2 orgasm's this way however after each orgasm I had to totaly stop any and all play in that area for about 5 minutes because the sensation was too much for her. She also said the orgasm's were much differnt than a normal one for her and there was kind of a burning sensation. She liked the orgasm's so all was well there but I was wondering if anyone could offer some insight on how to I guess work into a more intense wand and to properly administer the forced orgasm. There isn't a whole lot out there other than porn to learn from and I joined here hoping for advice!
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Well, as a gay man, I'm pretty much in the dark about women's anatomy and orgasms. But I do know that a woman's orgasm is a trickier thing than a man's orgasm. It's possible she's always going to have difficulty or be unable to do exactly what you want. It may just be that you can't give her the kind of stimulation she needs to be able to achieve what you're looking for.

    But that said, since you've achieved a little of what you were looking for, my advice would be to build on what you've accomplished already. Get her used to cumming, then having a 5 minute break in which you concentrate your play on something else, like playing with her tits or kissing or whatever. Once she's learned to cum a second time after a 5-minute break, gradually reduce the downtime between orgasms. Take it down to 4 1/2 minutes, and when she gets used to that, take it down to 4 minutes, and so on. She needs to learn to give you charge of when you go back down there. In theory, at least, she'll learn to tolerate the intensity of the situation with smaller and smaller recovery periods. And she should gradually learn to safe word only when she absolutely has to. At some point, you might set up a rule that once she safe words, there's no more play for the night, so she only uses it when what you're doing becomes unmanageable. (Of course, you can't guilt trip her for safe wording in that situation. She needs to know that it's ok for her do it if she must.)
  3. jackk frost

    jackk frost New Member

    well I guess my question is how to build her up to the wand. Her other toys bring her upto orgasm just fine and multiple times through the night are no problem either. I guess what we are wondering is how to go about building up to the wand and me able to hold it there or have something else hold it there without her having to use the safe word and stop. In this case the safe is a good thing she just can not take the intensity of the wand....
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Can she achieve orgasm using the wand on herself? If not, it's possible that the wand just doesn't hit her quite the way she needs. Like I said, I'm probably the last person here to qualify as an expert on female orgasms, but I do know from reading Dan Savage that lady parts can be fussy that way. My own cock can be pretty damn fussy about what will put it over the top. Most guys can't make me cum at all--I usually have to finish myself. So I can imagine that a woman's orgasms can be trickier that way.

    Is there are reason that you particularly need to use that wand? Perhaps you could use that wand and then switch over to a different toy when you want to take her over the edge.
  5. Moonlight

    Moonlight Member

    Yep us women are complicated. Straight up sex does absolutely nothing for me. I can think paint colors, what bills need to be paid and wait for him to get done already. Some of us ladies are cursed with fickle lady parts. I can only tell you to keep trying different toys and find as many that work well. Experiment and read as much as you can about ways to help her.
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2012
  6. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I'm curious why it has to be the wand. Have you talked with her about it? It makes sense to me that if the point was forced orgasm, as Sebby said, it might be best to pick a toy you and her use well together and know she enjoys. If it's just that it's more powerful, the more powerful toy does not necessarily equal a harder orgasm, it can just mean getting sore, or so overstimulated it's not fun, or you're exhausted, or whatever (as with her).
  7. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

    I agree that we are tricky subjects ;) I find that straight sex doesn't generally get me off either Moon, I need other stimulation or we can be at it for day's and not much would happen, it's a real bonus day when I actually finish through straight penetration.

    I also don't like vibrators much because I find that they make me kinda numb and even if I orgasm with them I don't want to go again anytime soon that way because I don't enjoy the sensation and would rather use a different toy or hands point Jack is that the wand could be too much for your wife and that is why you are not getting the desired results. You can still keep making her cum others ways so why the wand? Is it because it's what you see in porn? Those gals are getting paid remember doesn't mean they necessarily enjoy what is being done!

    Oh and Sebastian, my man is kinda like that. I call him marathon man sometimes because he can take FOREVER to cum, even if he's enjoying it and says repeatedly he's gonna come soon it can still take ages. There is no 'quickie' with him, even with hands or oral he can take a good 30 mins, sometimes my hand/mouth cramp up and he has to finish himself off.
  8. jackk frost

    jackk frost New Member

    Well we bought the wand because we have seen allot of use of it in the porn. She likes the wand she just can't handle the intense vibration. We weren't sure if this was something to work up to or what. Was hoping someone here could shed some light on how they use the wand type massagers and take the high vibrations. I like to do orgams denial/ forced orgasm on her and we would like to be able use the wand.
  9. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    But why the wand, if she doesn't enjoy it as much as another toy?

    Yes, she might be able to work up to it, using high settings on other vibrators and things until she's more used to it (with my first vibe, I started always using it lowish, and later always used it on high. But I have a good tolerance, and my hitachi isn't always enough for me). Take your time, don't force her to so fast or she'll probably go numb like subarama if she doesn't safeword first.

    You can get her used to it, but while you're focusing on forced orgasm and orgasm denial, use a toy that she doesn't have to try so hard with.
  10. BrionLyaila

    BrionLyaila New Member

    As a female, who was until recently very difficult to get to come, and owner of a magic wand, my biggest suggestions to you is to have her play with it herself. The wand is VERY intense, most of the time I can not come with it on high setting, if I am being dominated I can because I wish to please my master. If she plays with it by herself she can see where and what angle putting the wand at will satisfy her. It may be that it's too intense on her clit; but, if the wand is placed just below her clit it will still vibrate the heck out of the clit because it's so intense. I can come even if it's not on my clit. That may be a way to build it up for her.

    I have also found that one of the reasons it's harder to come with a wand for me, is because it's so intense there's no where to go. I don't know if you're familiar with the arousal stages but right before a man or woman orgasms there is a period of plateau. If you're using the wand on her non-stop straight on her clit, you don't have anything to push her over into orgasm. I would suggest teasing her clit with the wand. Using it slightly to the left or right then quickly brushing directly on her clit. That immense jolt of vibration she'll enjoy and crave more of then she'll be longing for you to do it again (which is controlling for you as a Dom). As you see her getting closer to orgasm you can hold it on her clit for longer periods of time. Just make sure you still pull it away too.

    Another observation, I know for me to accomplish a forced orgasm I have to be completely into the scene; whether it be a D/s play session or just sex in generally I have to be 100% devoted. Since you said you guys are new to BDSM could it be that she is still adjusting to that kind of sex in general? A woman's orgasm has so much to do with what's going on mentally. So if she is slightly uncomfortable with the scene it could prevent her from achieving orgasm especially forced. So really feed on things that she likes during that time to keep her in the mental state to enjoy a forced orgasm. During play time my Master sometimes gets so focused on one thing or another that he completely forgets to do the things that really turn me on. With forced orgasm I love being told that I have to come or else bad things will happen to me and that I am dirty whore and should know how to come by now, etc.

    I hope I've helped :)

  11. jackk frost

    jackk frost New Member

    she likes the wand...............

    She wants to do this................

    the question is how have you guys worked up to something with such intense vibrations. She enjoys when I use it on her, the problem is that it I guess for lack of any better way to put it tickles her too much and she just can't stand it.

    Thank you I think this makes sense and I will have her read it and see what she thinks.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 2, 2012
  12. BrionLyaila

    BrionLyaila New Member

    No problem, let me know if you need any clarification.

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