Recent content by chaoticist

Done. It had the desired effect :D Any more good ideas? ;)

Often subs have conflict or fears about their submissive/masochistic desires, so they hesitate to express them. As a top you have to take a 'leap of faith' and push harder than they say they want, or admit to liking - once you start doing it, you will know very quickly if it's going too far...

IMO if it's consenting and doesn't permanently impair someone, then it's not abuse. I was assuming they have a safe word or some other way for the sub to signal it's going too far and/or he wants to stop - at least that's how I always do things. Just to be clear, I was not suggesting, and don't...

Well I agree, but that is what safe words, and judgement from the top are there to prevent.

Depends on the person. Personally I enjoy dominating people and don't need to fuck them or have any sexual contact at all to have fun, but when I'm subbing I don't really enjoy it unless there's a healthy sexual component.

I rarely do something to someone that I haven't tried myself first, at least on some level. There's a lot of insight to be gained from knowing how a sub thinks, it makes it easier to get inside their heads and push their buttons. Especially relatively inexperienced ones :D That said, there...

The problem with your advice is you're assuming he will be ethical. But if he was ethical, he wouldn't have cheated for so long. A one-off and then a guilty confession would be one thing, that could be a momentary lapse - but months of nightly cheating with another woman? You are giving advice...

I don't feel worthless at all, and have healthy self-esteem, but I still like giving and taking pain, control, 'abuse' etc. So, it's nothing to do with your feelings of worthlessness IMO, more likely it's just your intrinsic sexual nature (at least that's my theory). Having self-esteem issues...

Purely a mind fuck. I thought about it some more, and I'm pretty much agreeing with the posts here, it's just too risky - although 99 times out of 100 nothing might go wrong, the one time it does would be very serious. And there's plenty of safer ways to get a similar effect. Anyway, thanks for...

I'm wondering about how dangerous it would be to have a razor blade in the mouth during a scene - like on top of the tongue, then closing the mouth. There'd be a strong instinct to do anything possible not to swallow it, but I'm concerned with the risk of accidental reaction such as sneezing...

Be open about not wanting a longer-term thing, or real life meeting. If they get into the online thing with you, remind them regularly of this, and make sure they don't get too attached. Subs are responsible adults too, they are capable of handling themselves and don't need to be babied...

I think you're making an assumption when you say something is 'wrong'. Unusual, yes. Wrong, no. If I'm understanding you correctly, you're sadistic/dominant, and need to feel your partner is experiencing fear/despair? Correct me if I'm misunderstanding. For a vanilla person, your urges...

Great point about sadism as empathy (between a sadist and masochist), that's a perspective that isn't fully appreciated. But many who aren't S or M don't understand that, so they 'hold back' because they think they are hurting you or doing something 'bad', even if you say you want it. I wasn't...

Very interesting reply - I agree about the difference between sadists vs 'regular' doms/dommes. I think the same is true of masochists vs 'regular' subs. Doms/subs seem to use pain as part of the control & power dynamic of their relationship. Whereas 'true' sadists and masochists seem to enjoy...

One thing I've observed quite a lot, is an apparent conflict between caring feelings for someone, and the ability to be sadistic to them. Similarly, the few truly creative and intense sadists that I know, tend to have quite a bit less empathy than the general population, a couple of them would...