Will S&M Never Be Fully Accepted?

sebastian · Mar 7, 2013

Slate.com recently published an article arguing that it won't be. http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/human_nature/2013/03/bondage_dominance_submission_and_sadomasochism_why_s_m_will_never_go_mainstream.html

What do people think?

Smallest · Mar 7, 2013

I don't think it will (haven't read the article, but I think it's hard for everyone to accept something involving harm, consensual or no, especially when not everyone desires it), but if it does get altogether mainstream it won't be exactly 'kink' anymore.

i obey · Mar 7, 2013

sadly i don't think it will be, i think that in some ways it is purely down to ignorance. and the jokes that are attached to the subject. so many people here the word pain and think that to enjoy that you must be sick and need help. i have kept my bdsm side very quiet because i know the reaction it would get. people are happy to talk about the lighter side of it a little slap and tickle naughty sex shops and all that. but you get too far into it and the turn away shocked and wanting to save you from the suppression. in this modern world especially we are told ( well woman anyway) to be strong woman and don't let men treat you badly when actually you wont find a better man than someone that is willing to take on the personal care of a sub. it takes more than most men have got to be that involved. And there is nothing wrong with a woman being soft and gentle and submissive i think its an attractive quality.

i am afraid self help experts and the media have recently ( the whole 50 shades backlash) killed any acceptance for the s&m world.

x

V.W. Singer · Mar 7, 2013

As usual, the article focuses on the extreme and even illegal/non-consensual end of the spectrum when talking about BDSM.

However, bondage in the form of silk scarves and fuzzy handcuffs doesn't raise eyebrows anymore, nor would a playful spanking.

Many D/s relationships don't even involve much pain and the same goes for bondage.

Many women (and men) find anal sex uncomfortable or simply painful, and yet anal sex is full mainstream these days, so pain in itself is not a determinant of acceptability.

The entirety of the BDSM spectrum will never be mainstream, but then neither is double penetration, but it features in many vanilla porn videos and doesn't really shock anyone. Fisting too was once considered shocking, but now it is old hat.

The more extreme elements of BDSM will never be mainstream as in "everyone does it", but much of it will become increasingly well known and less misrepresented in films and TV, and that is probably good enough.

Smallest · Mar 8, 2013

i obey said:
people are happy to talk about the lighter side of it a little slap and tickle naughty sex shops and all that. but you get too far into it and the turn away shocked and wanting to save you from the suppression.

I very much agree with this and constantly see it.

V.W. Singer said:
Many women (and men) find anal sex uncomfortable or simply painful, and yet anal sex is full mainstream these days, so pain in itself is not a determinant of acceptability.

Anal isn't supposed to hurt though (and if it is, something's going wrong), so I wouldn't say its mainstream acceptance means that painful sex can be considered a norm.

Mistywillow · Mar 8, 2013

Unfortunately not. In the UK even talking about "mainstream sex" is not really scene as "normal" (whatever that is!), unless you are in a group of drunken women who find it titilating or a group of drunken men who like to congratulate each other on their conquests. In this day & age you would think consenting adults would be seen as just that without judgement whatever your preference. However, sadly there will always be the element of those who want to suppress &/or ridicule the choices we chose because they don't understand, but ultimately because they don't want to understand.

Will S&M Never Be Fully Accepted?

sebastian

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i obey

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V.W. Singer

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