wife knows about panties

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by dozuki, Nov 15, 2011.

  1. dozuki

    dozuki Member

    Well I kind of told the wife that I like to wear ladies panties. She always calls my mens underwear panties and she did it again the other day. So I told her I was going shopping and she said 'oh for some panties" I of course said yes. So today when I stepped out of the bathroom after my shower I was wearing a nice paie of black panties with a little lace down the side.
    She didn't really throw a fit but at first she told me take of her panties. When I told her they were mine she was a little confused but not really angry. She did say it was creepy and she asked me how many pair I had. I told her she would have to wait and find out. So the cat is out of the bag at least some of it is out. I am hoping that the idea will grow on her.
    I will just have to wait to show her the thong which is really pretty I will post a pic of me modeling it if anyone is interested.

  2. That sounded like quite the adventure and chance taken! Congrats on getting a "better-then-expected" response!
  3. dozuki

    dozuki Member

    That really did go better than expected. She didn't jump up and rip my clothes off but she didn't run away screaming or just get pissed. I am going to surprise her with the other pair later.
  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    I'm glad you told her, it would've gone worse if you hadn't (like if she found them, and was either bothered by your lack of openness or thought you were having an affair).

    Good luck with later, anyway, and I'm glad she's open enough to not be bothered.
  5. dozuki

    dozuki Member

    Well I wouldn't say she isn't bothered but she might get used to it. She says she is going to tell her. She says she isn't emberasssed. Maybe she she hopes I will be embarrassed.
    All I can do is ride it out. Thanks for your support everyone.

  6. Just as Smallest indicated, the fact that she is still around... Don't take that for granted! We live in a world still full of close minded people, and the fact you havent been served divorce papers, is a great accomplishment. That would indicate there is something more to the relationship that an interest like this wont effect! Go easy with it, keep your lines of communication open, and be as understanding with her when she expresses her thoughts, the same as she was with you when you put this to her!
  7. JettOnly

    JettOnly Member

    I have had female friends in the same position as your wife
    So I just want to stress how you need to take your time and comunicate lots and lots without pushing her so that she retreats
    It's great that things went better than expected from your point of view but now you really need to see how it went from your wives point of view
    Just as some people cannot help their kinks people cannot help how they instinctivly react when they have a kink thrust upon them

    From my friends POV
    One girl felt sick, she was not a narrow minded girl at all but it was something thrust on her with no understanding, then she was pushed to try and accept it with no caring for how she felt, it drove her to depression and eventually the relationship broke down

    Another friend was introduced to the idea gently with lots of talking. After a while she supported him conning out in drag for the first time, now she loves shopping for clothes with him and helping him dress

    Go gentle with you wife

    I would also spend some time when you are both turned on talking about kinks and fantasies. The seceret garden fantacy books I have found great to open minds a little
  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm glad things went well. Give her time to get used to the idea. You might find this a little tittilating, but for her this is surprising and might not be a welcome development. So at this point, don't expect her to participate in your cross-dressing play. Just let her get used to it. Give her an opportunity to ask you questions about it--why you're doing this, what turns you on about it, and so on. If she didn't freak out, she's not likely to have a real problem with it, but if you try to force her into participating (for example, by watching you model them for her), she might get upset.

    After she's had some time to adjust, ask her if she's willing to participate with you. Maybe she will, maybe she won't. Many straight women have husbands who enjoy cross-dressing, so if this doesn't freak her out, there's no reason she can't come to accept it, and she might come to find it enjoyable.

    One other things: don't let this dominate your love life to the exception of your normal love-making. If she gets the sense your cross-dressing is replacing your normal sexual interactions, she might come to resent the cross-dressing. Present it as something that will add variety to your intimacy, not something that permanently change it.
  9. dozuki

    dozuki Member

    Those are all good points and I appreciate your thinking on my situation. I am going to stick to the more masculine panties like the boyshorts and briefs. Im not pushing her I am just letting her see me wearing them. I also went to His Room and looked up some mens underwear and she admitted that she didn't really like them and neither did I. Thats when I pointed out than ladies panties were just more sexy and pretty. She did say that she did like my boxer/briefs so I am going to switch back and forth working the panties in a little more each week.

    Thanks for everyones help.
  10. foreverbunny

    foreverbunny New Member

    I would stress how important it is to you, but I would also be VERY gentle and open to her feelings and make sure there's lots of communication but don't over-do the subject. Also be open to her not liking it. If she does not, try to SLOWLY coax her into it... I would say that if you are unsure of how she feels, there wasn't enough communication, but I was not there.

    And IDK how old your wife is, but quite a few friends of mine in highschool thought it was very sexy when their boyfriends were willing to wear their underwear! Not so sure as to what they would've thought if it was a fetish. I'd personally be OK with something like that, but everyone is different, and in our homophobic society, there's always the "OH MY GOD I THINK HE'S GAY" thing with some women. You might want to reassure her that you still find her irresistable and sexy just in case!

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