When sub gets mad

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by 9onthedime, Mar 8, 2010.

  1. 9onthedime

    9onthedime New Member

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    What happens when the sub gets angry with the Dom? In vanilla relationships, couples vent their anger by fighting. Each person will try and force the other to give in, admit they’re wrong. But I’d imagine in an D/s relationship, the sub would defer to the Dom when making decisions. So does the Sub just keep their feelings bottled up inside then? What happens?
  2. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

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    They talk..... Or they just don't come back.
    If they communicate, the relationship is working (there are exceptions).
    Tops and bottoms communicate, one way or another, just not always with words.

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    When I get mad I voice my thoughts. If I am feeling subby and just want to be played with, I get extra bratty. If it's a legit concern, I just talk about it. If you are playing though make sure you use your safeword so there is no confusion as to the significance of the convo. I once had a problem with that, where I said time out rather than my safeword (silly I know) and he thought we were still playing. If your Dom is worth his weight in anything, he will listen and encourage the communication. If it's concerning play time though, unless you are in real pain or emotional distress, try to wait until play time is over to discuss what you didn't like . Otherwise you are deflating your partners ego by stopping to talk about things as you go, topping from the bottom if you will.
  4. Sub4Life

    Sub4Life Member

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    We talk. We rarely end up fighting like in vanilla relationships, but it has happened. Comunication is very important.
  5. Tarynsslave

    Tarynsslave Member

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    This situation is always a difficult one. As a submissive, I am obligated to accept the decision of my Mistress as final. This isn't always practical and took a very long time to get used to.

    Communication is essential!! Talk to each other often and truthfully. As a general rule of thumb, I've always figured that whenever I am upset or angry, I calmly and respectfully bring it up- at an appropriate time. Bottling up emotions is NEVER a good idea.

  6. Dom-me

    Dom-me New Member

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    It's just like any other relationship. Communication is vital for growth and longevity... I haven't had to voice anything yet but I know because of the relationship my Mistress and I have that I can do so and be confident I will be heard and respected.
  7. stray79

    stray79 New Member

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    Becoming angry at times is a normal human emotion. It's bound to happen in any type of relationship. When i became angry, i was allowed to express myself in a calm and respectful manner. He evoked many emotions from me, what was important to Him (therefore to me) was my behavior and the way i expressed myself. And of course the respect and obedience towards Him and His rules and commands.

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