What is the definition of a real Master?

binetu · Sep 14, 2007

Hello everybody!
I am puzzledâ€¦
I find submissive feelings inside myself, and to the very roots of my being I want to discover them deeper and bring them into the life. The idea of being mentally controlled, letting somebody touch my soul so strongly that he could shape and make it to its best, entices me greatly. It is a mental thing and it is about trust. It would be wonderful to trust somebody so deep, to let him train me to the genuine obedience which will give the most intense pleasureâ€¦
But how is that possible to distinguish those â€œmastersâ€ who want just easy sex and abuse, as they are not strong enough themselves in their minds, from those who are really Masters and able to control somebodyâ€™s mind and develope it to its best?
I feel myself as an wolf-cub, hiding in its kennel and waiting for the right opportunity to come out for the righ Owner, but still too affraid to do that.
I was deeply hurted in my chidhood, being abused somebody I loved for a few years, until I didnt understand he was just a poor week beast. So I donâ€™t want to repeat my mistake and become dependent on somebody who just pretend to be a master, or thinks he is.
How to define real One ( wise and strong one) from a horny animal?
Thank you in advance!
Binetu

MisterFenix · Sep 14, 2007

subbie binetu,

Lost in your own thoughts and feelings!!??
I understand what you want to try to make clear!
you sound like a slave who is so ready to be molded and trained into the perfection your Master desires!!
It is clear that we, Masters, have the same problems like the slaves.; not easy to find the right one!!
There must be a deep connection from the beginning from both sites, like creating a sculpture from a piece of wood, if you dont see the beginning of a creation it is the wrong piece to start with!
Ownership is a the highest pressent a slave can give to her Master, complete surrender because she knows she can trust him and he will never fail in being a Master!
A slave would never enjoy pain if she doesnt trust her Master, when she does trust him pain will give so much adrenaline that the pain becomes deep pleasure!
Obeying your Master in his every command and wish, not because you are his property, but because you find pleasure in it, knowing he is worth to obey.

I would be pleased if I found the kennel where you are hiding and take you out of there and give you the place you search for!!

MisterFenix

hanuman · Sep 14, 2007

This Question is a question which cannot really be answered like math
can be answered
you have made a mistake before , so this experience will sharpen your intuition
in the best case ,
Best Master to Obey and whome is most perfect for you , is the Master who resides whitin your own being , never ever will you encounter Master who is better to obey and serve then the Master who lives in your own being as he is there to guide you in this world and his interest is to do that and nothing else , if you disobey him you might get hurt
get to know him and show him that you will are willing to follow
your own self to whatever he/she will guide you

God bless you

Dutchsub4u · Sep 14, 2007

Take your time to get to know a Master binetu
Don't let you be pushed to surrender inmiddiately, a real Master will understand that you are vulnerable as a sub and that you need to be carefull.
Your intuition will tell if He is sincere and the Master for you when you know Him better.

Good luck

NLD · Sep 14, 2007

Dear binetu,

The truth to your question is simple: you cannot tell the difference.
The human mind is too well developed to mislead themselves as well as others.
True Masters and Dom.'s are indeed hard to find...as well as true sub's and slaves.
On both sides there are fakers who are extremely well developed in persuading the other.
As for myself: I've been searching for over 6 years now and still I cannot always tell. I can tell sooner now...but that's all. It's still a risk, also for a Dom. since we (?) use our feelings just as hard and deep as the slave or sub.
If you stop having sex, they will see it as a çhallenge.
Maybe you might notice when he is capable of reaching your true feelings. But even for that there are simple techniques. I think high intelligence is a good symptom to reduce risk...but I don't really like this, intelligence has so many different aspects. Last but not least: in case the Dom/Master is a switch you shall find out really soon.

Maybe you can try to answer the same question for Dom's and Masters, about true slaves and subs, in order to find your answer.

J.

Hekaron · Sep 14, 2007

binetu said:
I am puzzled…
I find submissive feelings inside myself, and to the very roots of my being I want to discover them deeper and bring them into the life. The idea of being mentally controlled, letting somebody touch my soul so strongly that he could shape and make it to its best, entices me greatly. It is a mental thing and it is about trust. It would be wonderful to trust somebody so deep, to let him train me to the genuine obedience which will give the most intense pleasure…

A real master inspires the trust in the person who has the urge to surrender, to do just that: surrender, and does consider this gift precious enough to refrain from anything that would seem incompatible with that trust. He respects the agreements made explicitly and even the agreements that might have been made, had the submissive thought of them. He takes responsibility for his own acts and for those of his submissive, but demands that the submissive embraces her responsibilities accordingly.

binetu said:
But how is that possible to distinguish those “masters” who want just easy sex and abuse, as they are not strong enough themselves in their minds, from those who are really Masters and able to control somebody’s mind and develope it to its best?
I feel myself as an wolf-cub, hiding in its kennel and waiting for the right opportunity to come out for the right Owner, but still too afraid to do that.

"Just sex" and abuse are two things that either can or cannot be part of a D/s dynamic. If a submissive or slave craves such things, and that is the case more often than you might think, then by all means she should search a Master who is sadistic or selfish enough to provide that, according to his nature. Everything that works for two people is OK, if they are in a position to make autonomous choices.
You have to make the distinction yourself, its your responsibility and no one elses. For someone inexperienced, it may be very difficult to spot the many predators who find a happy hunting ground in the lifestyle, with many gullible submissives just wayting to be exploited. Read whatever you can on the many bulletin boards, ask advice, specially about safety measures that minimize the risk of abuse. Things like safety calls, like not exposing yourself the sphysical control of a Dom without solid identification by which he can be traced, in the hands of a trusted one, etc. Protocols exist; use them. Trust needs time; take it. Submissives that expect to be collared within a week on the site (and often are!) are not always realistic and hardly a good example to their peers.

binetu said:
I was deeply hurted in my childhood, being abused by somebody I loved for a few years, until I didnt understand he was just a poor week beast. So I don’t want to repeat my mistake and become dependent on somebody who just pretend to be a master, or thinks he is.

Being hurt/abused before, makes you aware of the dangers, as well as make you too anxious to recognise a Master and open up to hem, if you meet one. The remedy might be a repeated exposure to the "substance" you are allergic to, in a controled, safe environment, as is done in some forms of allergy management therapy. All it takes is someone who is a friend, but not interested to exert power over you, to accompany you to 'scene' environments. There you can learn to discern without risk, to learn how to recognise signals; in short to gain the indispensible experience.

binetu said:
How to define real One ( wise and strong one) from a horny animal?

These two extremes should be easy to tell apart. It's the ones that are in the grey area in between that give you a hard time. Once again, what you need is experience without the damage that sometimes seems inevitable in the process of gaining it. But it can be done. Find a tutor, a mentor, but -and there's the catch- you find the biggest predatores in that category too: the inexperienced preys come drifting your way. One way to help you make a choice is to ask for ample proof of identity, and understanding for your needs for safety measures at the start. If he shows the least hesitation, that's a yellow or even a red flag.

Feel free to ask more specific information. I wish you a safe and successful journey!

Hekaron

Jillian · Sep 20, 2007

You will have your revelations and insights when you meet the "true One" A revelation is when a truth goes from your mind and into your heart. It is a truth that existed all along but it does not become real or meaningful until it becomes true and real to you. . Listen to your heart.

gunnphiter · Oct 11, 2007

A true Master will know his slaves desires, and feelings. He will bring out all the lust, joy, and happiness, of his cherished possesion.

The slave, on the other hand will strive to keep her Master aroused, pleased, and lusting after her.

What is the definition of a real Master?

binetu

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MisterFenix

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hanuman

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Dutchsub4u

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NLD

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Hekaron

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Jillian

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gunnphiter

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