MIRROR: Download from MEGA
It's hard to really explore BDSM without a partner of some sort. A submissive can't really submit to herself. Doms and subs require each other--it's sort of like the yin-yang symbol that way. You might be able to do a little bit of pain play on your own--like putting clothespins on your tits or your pussy and seeing how much the pain arouses you--but in general there's not a lot you can really learn on your own.
You can make contact with a prospective master on this site's personals forum, or through a site like Collarme or Fetlife (Alt.com is another option, but it's a money sink). Just explain that you're new, you're a virgin, and you want to explore at a gentle pace. Any good dom will understand and not push you too hard too fast.
Hard limits are things you know that you don't want to do at this point. Soft limits are things you're very nervous about but might be willing to do with a master you trust. So think about some of the things you see talked about on the fora here and decide which ones excite you and which ones scare you too much. Making something a hard limit now doesn't mean it will be a hard limit forever. As you explore and grow, you will probably find that some things that scare or disgust you now will excite you in a few years. For example, my slave was initially very resistant to being pissed on. He agreed to try it, and had a very negative reaction to it--it made him feel nauseous and disgusted with himself. But he agreed to let me piss on him as a gesture of dominance (he was doing something he didn't want to do). Gradually, he's started to remind me that I need to piss on him, and is coming to view it as a powerful ritual of ownership. He says he will only let me piss on him. I suspect that eventually he's going to ask for another master to piss on him, but that's just a guess.
So think about some of the various forms of play I mention in my 4 Spheres of BDSM post in the FAQ and decide which ones interest or repel you.
Would you like to:
be tied up so you can move a little?
be tied up so you can't move at all?
be gagged?
be blindfolded?
be tied up, gagged, and blindfolded?
have your tits tortured?
have your pussy tortured?
be spanked?
flogged?
pricked with needles?
have hot wax poured on you?
be required to perform fellatio on command?
be required to perform oral sex on your master's friends?
be kept naked?
be kept naked around your master's friends?
be required to have sex as others watch?
be penetrated anally?
be penetrated vaginally?
be penetrated by your master's friends?
have someone piss on you?
be forced to drink piss?
have obscenities written on you?
be insulted?
be insulted while others watch?
be laughed at?
be kept in cage for hours?
be chained to a wall?
be forced to clean house naked?
be forced to act like a dog?
be used as a footstool?
be cut with razors and bled lightly?
be pierced with needles?
be branded?
be scarred?
Some of what I've listed here is fairly tame, some of it is quite extreme. Some of it requires enormous trust; some of it requires you to trust a master that his friends are safe. There's much on this list that I would never do, or would only do with someone I had known long enough to really trust. Some it I will do to my subs but not submit to myself. So don't assume you have to want all of these things or that you have to agree to do them. It's perfectly ok to decide that you are certain you don't ever want someone to use needles or scarring tools on you (or whatever). Or you could decide that you're willing to explore needles (temporary piercings), but only after your master has shown you that he has experience doing it safely, or only after your master has you that he's trustworthy through months of play.
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