Vanilla dating, with two kinky people

Hiding_Changing · Jun 15, 2011

I don't know how to word this question very well without rambling on and on. Basically I met a Dom I like, and the feeling is mutual. This is not someone I am looking to just be play partners with. I am stuck and not sure what to do next. Despite that we are all cuddly and whatnot and parties I have been avoiding playing with him because I have not been emotionally invested in someone I had scene with in a long time.

So what do I do? I feel like an idiot lol.

sebastian · Jun 15, 2011

Ok, so let me see if I understand this. You have found a man who is a dom. You are romantically attached to him and have been hanging out and cuddling. But you haven't had sex yet and you are worried about subbing for him because you are worried about how your romantic feelings would affect your ability to sub for him. Have I got that right?

It seems to me that subbing for someone you have real feelings for would be much more enjoyable than subbing for someone you're just playing with for fun. Yes, there is a risk of getting hurt emotionally, but that happens in vanilla relationships too. I'd advise you to not hold back and explore what might be there.

Kor · Jun 15, 2011

Not every relationship has to be D/S.

Hiding_Changing · Jun 16, 2011

sebastian- you pretty much got it right...I am just nervous I guess lol.

Of course not ever relationship needs to me D/s but considering how we met and that fact that he is a Dom and I am a sub this particular relationship probably would be.

apex1o1 · Jun 16, 2011

sounds like the Dom needs to be more understanding to your needs

sebastian · Jun 16, 2011

Why wouldn't you want to pursue this relationship?

Smallest · Jun 16, 2011

And likewise, why do you? And why do you think D/s will make it not work out?

And sebastian, when do you sleep?

sebastian · Jun 16, 2011

I actually sleep a fair amount. I'm pretty lazy.

Smallest · Jun 16, 2011

You seem like you're on all hours of the day. Oh well.

Topsbottom · Jun 16, 2011

sebastian said:
Yes, there is a risk of getting hurt emotionally, but that happens in vanilla relationships too.

^^^ That was my first thought reading this thread. Personally, I would rather deal with the emotional pain than the regret of never putting myself out there.

Vanilla dating, with two kinky people

Hiding_Changing

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sebastian

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Kor

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Hiding_Changing

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apex1o1

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sebastian

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Smallest

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sebastian

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Topsbottom

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