Hi Kahuna,
I would add a nuance to Sebastian's advice.
As a first step you could find an online Master or Mistress (or even better, a couple). So now your "Remote Overlords" are forcing you (maybe make up a blackmail scenario) to be locked away in a chastity device. You have to tie up your wife in front of them (both of you wear masks to preserve privacy), and you are forced to beat her. Use Skype and a good quality webcam to let them take part in your sessions.
You are also forced to give your wife oral pleasure - without any hope of being unlocked. In fact you have to be so nice to her - kissing and cuddling her (when you're not torturing her, that is). Your Remote Overlords enjoy seeing your sexual tension rising as you become more and more intimate with your wife, but with no hope of sexual satisfaction yourself.
If you want to take this further, and trust the online couple with your mailing address, you can send them your chastity key and one of these boxes...
http://www.amazon.com/GE-AccessPoin...stable/dp/B000GTOUJ2/ref=cm_cr_pr_product_top
They set the combination, lock your chastity key into the box, and mail it back to you. Then when you click the padlock closed on the chastity device you are under their control!
They will only give you the combination after you've followed their orders and "tortured" your wife. It might be days...or even weeks. I can't even imagine what terrible things they will make you do to the woman you love.
This should resolve your conflict in the roleplay. Now if you are being cruel to her, you can even apologize at the same time!
"Oh honey...I'm so sorry! But you know they're making me do this to you!"
If the online play works out then you will be in a better position to decide if you want to move on to "real life" play with another couple. But, as many people will tell you, that is a big step.
How does this idea sound?
Cheers,
Stanley
