Trying to understand Master/slave relationships

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Archie, Apr 18, 2010.

  1. Archie

    Archie New Member

    What exactly is it that makes people want to enter such a relationship? Is it just the sexual pleasure they get from that? Do many of them also love their partners? How does communication work in such a relationship? (I'm not talking about BDSM-related communication, but about all the types of communication that normally appear in a relationship) If the main reason for being in such a relationship is the sexual pleasure that both parties gain from it, how can it really be maintained 24/7? (assuming the two partners aren't hypersexual, they'd presumably get tired from continually maintaining the power differential, wouldn't they?) Why aren't these people content with a more "equal" relationship?
  2. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    Well people enter a relationship like that because they're interested in the idea or turned on be the idea of master/slave. Generally they get sexual pleasure from it, but a 24/7 lifestyle would also require non-sexual aspects.
    I cant imagine why you would enter any kind of relationship willingly if you didn't love someone, why would master/slave be any different...?
    "Willingly" of course being the key word
    In fact, if one person was in the love but the other one wasnt and they were in a relationship like that, it would probably be closer to ABUSE. Which is wrong. Abuse is a big no

    What kind of question is this? How does communication work? What?

    Okay, here. Let me give you an example.
    I call my boyfriend "master" almost constantly (unless someone else is around) and he generally refers to me as his "pet". Just because I submit to him in a sexual way and sometimes in a non sexual way as well, does not mean that I consider myself inferior to him or that he has all the "power" in a relationship. I consider our relationship to be very equal, we have a lot of respect and love for each other. We're not 24/7, but we do implicate the lifestyle into our normal, daily lives
  3. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Archie, despite what our culture tells us, not everyone longs for freedom and equality. Among the many things that is psychologically appealing about submission is the knowledge that one had a specific place in the world. "What am I going to do with my life?" is a question that creates enormous psychological pressure for some people (as demonstrated by Munch's "The Scream"), and submission resolves that by letting someone else make those choices. Some subs have a powerful desire to serve a master or mistress, to express devotion, loyalty, and affection through service (some gay men speak of having a 'dog soul'). For some, submission relieves feelings of inadequacy (a sub _is_ inadequate, and that's ok, since they have a dom to help them). Having a dom can provide a sense of emotional security, so of the way a parent can. Many subs find submission to be deeply satisfying, allowing them to express a deep inner truth about who they are. Doms and subs complete each other, because neither can be entirely themself without the other, so a sub provides a vital service to a dom and can gain real satisfaction from that.

    Historically, Western culture has always had room for subs. The notion of chivalry and courtly love expresses a notion of submission on the part of the knight (his lady is above him). Early modern children were taught to be submissive toward their parents. 19th century butlers took pleasure in serving their master/mistress. Modern celebrites are served by professional 'assistants'.

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