This life and me and my real life a little worried

Discussion in 'Section open for any subject to discuss' started by joshua27, Jul 17, 2010.

  1. joshua27

    joshua27 New Member

    Hello I know by now this is a very small community and info is pasted around freely witch I think is great the trust is very welcoming. The big worry one my mind is people exposing me as "freak" within my friends and family all I'm asking for is someone to respond to this post telling me that people don't use this info to kill peoples lives.

    Thanks for reading 27
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Josh, it is not unreasonable for you to be concerned about being outed as into bdsm. It's not really socially acceptable, although I think it's a little more acceptable than it used to be--certainly no one I've outed myself to has reacted poorly (including my 78 year old mother). Depending on what you do for a living, it's not inconceivable that you could lose your job (I have a friend who lost her job at a day care center when a newspaper ran a photo of her at a fetish show). So a certain degree of caution is advisable.

    However, I think it would be extremely unlikely that anyone on this forum would do that. First, we don't know your name or address or email or photo or anything like that, so if you keep those private, we have no way to track you down. Second, we're all in the same boat as you are. We can't really out you without outing ourselves. Third, all of us are conscious of these problems, and empathize to some degree with your worries, so we wouldn't want to do it. Fourth, I suspect that most of us here would like to see bdsm play become more socially acceptable, and using it as a weapon to ruin someone's life simply increases the stigma a little bit. Finally, from what I've seen, we're all pretty decent, moral, caring, supportive people here. I haven't seen anyone here who has struck me as malicious or emotionally unstable (although there was an incident before I joined involving a sub who told some pretty huge lies to get attention--she is no longer around).

    So I think the odds of anyone here intentionally outing you are very small. Not zero, but extremely small. If you're concerned about it, simply don't say anything in your posts that could positively identify you and the risk drops virtually to zero.
  3. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

    Sebatian has it quite right. A wise person once said, "if you want it to remain private, never talk about it on the web." With that being said, I'd advise you to err on the side of caution and not post any personal information, anywhere.... ever. While no one here would ever out you intentionally, you'd be amazed what someone with something against you could dig up on you.
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  4. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I hope no one reconizes my clevage...

    Can I make a few suggestions:

    1. Try to get a job with seniors, even if they find out, they will forget by lunch or bribe with solid food.

    2. If someone wants a picture of you, use a hot ememies' picture, your Master/Mistress Slave/Sub will be impressed and you get a little revenge. >:)

    3. Use the wrong drivers for your webcam, thus you are have credible deniability!

    4. Location, location, location....Try to move, everyone "trippy" lives in NY or California, even if they find still got a shot at being uninteresting. Chances are good Paris Hiton said something stupid or J-lo got bigger breasts making you old news. Seattle might also work, general topic there only involves the weather, rain. If it's not worth ranning, the whole state takes up silence for the day. Should you be unable to move and live in Canada...don't worry, the next hockey game, it's forgotten eh?

    5. I don't have a #5 yet, but I'll think of something...

  5. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    kajmir - you are on a roll today. LOL
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  6. decoyicus

    decoyicus Member

    I know how it feels to be outed and it is horrible especially if you are still in school when I was 15 I confided in my girlfriend at the time and few people that i thought where my friends about my bisexuality and a few of my more sadistic fantasies about a month later I broke up with my girlfriend and the people who I though where my friends took her side within 3 days everyone in my school and all my facebook friends (fucking social networking) knew about everything I had told the ex and the douche bags the last year and a half of my school life was hell. the community I lived in was deeply conservative and catholic so even the adults though I was a sick freak add to that the fact that I was already pretty unpopular for being an atheist and I was easily the most hated person in town if it hadn't have been for the internet and recreational drug use I probably would have killed myself. but on the internet so long as you withhold your personal information you can remain completely anonymous
  7. master jey

    master jey Moderator

    malchik v derevne nashol pulemiot s tex por v derebne nekto ne jivEt :D
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  8. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    Well I am pretty sure you're not 15 anymore so you prolly don't need this reply personalized to you. However, on a more serious note, let's us discuss what a real sick freak is shall we?


    In the world of Kaj a real sick freak is someone who rapes babies thinking they enjoy it. One I had the "pleasure" of coming across on net justified it by saying that the baby was wholly innocent therefore only gained innocent pleasure. I ran to my bathroom and threw up.

    In the world of Kaj a real sick freak is someone who beats the crap out of their gf or wife and I don't mean consentually. Ultimately EVERY sub chooses what they get and I'm not talking a sub or slave. I'm talking about the wife in the hospital with the broken arm and face cause her hubby had a bad day at work.

    In the World of Kaj a real sick freak is someone who WELDS an iron collar to a puppy so tight it grows into the puppy's skin...Someone who takes a fryingpan to a dog's head...some who choose that day to throw a kitten at a wall because well, his/her child wasn't closer to do the same...

    In the world of Kaj we are not freaks, we are not sick. We CHOOSE to be sexually, "outside of the box". We CHOOSE to give ourselves up to someone or we CHOOSE to control someone body, mind and soul, but ULTIMATELY what matter's is we all HAVE CHOOSEN, even the most submissive..... Master's/Mistresses, slaves and sub's, that is what makes us ok, we CONSENT. As long as that choice as there and it is, no matter how submissive the slave or dominating the master/mistress.

    The child, the kitten, the dog, the wife...were never given the choice to consent and they didn't have the ability to use that safe word or stop what happened. It was done IN ANGER and without reguard for life, that is NOT what we are about.

  9. decoyicus

    decoyicus Member

    your passion and the conviction of your words is very inspiring but I never though I was a sick freak that was just what everyone else thought it was just all the abuse and the fact that I felt alone that made me suicidal I stopped being depressed about it after my dad took me to gay pride in Brighton (it must have been hard for him he was pretty uncomfortable with it) when I was 16 a few months later I went to San Fransisco and spent about 4 months there since then I have looked back at my year and half as social pariah as a life lesson although I do still get a bit sad about it but I has made me a lot stronger as a person now I don't care what people think and I am pretty much Impervious to all forms of abuse
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  10. kajmir

    kajmir Member

    I didn't assume you felt that way about yourself, but the simple fact is I am brillant so if I say you're aren't.

    -breaks into noob dance-
  11. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Decoy, as Smplace's official fag, let me say that your experiences, while unfortunate, are still reasonably common. Society has gotten a lot more accepting of gays and bis, but there's still a long way to go, and teens can be some of the worst on this issue. The good news is that your father was able to accept it and try to help you cope with it. I know someone here whose family threw him out last year when he came out (after first forcing him to see a therapist who really fucked with his head). Also, in the long run, the sort of rejection you encountered will make you a stronger person. The gay men I know are some off the most resilient people around.
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  12. decoyicus

    decoyicus Member

    Thanks you guys great. this is the only forum I have ever been on that has no trolls or judgmental stupid people :)
  13. kittengrey

    kittengrey Member

    @decoy: I know, right? I was on another site and got insta-trolled because I had to get an abortion.
    I really really really really hate fucking pro-life preachers >/
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  14. decoyicus

    decoyicus Member

    Sorry to hear about you getting shit from the Jesus squad I've got shit from those guys for years just highlights the main problem with the internet most of the people on it are stupid or assholes
  15. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    The anonymity of the internet encourages people to say things they would never say (or at least not say in that way) to someone in person. And it's harder to see an internet post as representing a real human being.

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