The Dreaded Wall

Discussion in 'General fetish discussions' started by brittany6142006, Jun 2, 2009.

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    I'm not really sure how to put this, but my boyfriend and I have hit a wall in our sex life. We enjoy our normal sex a lot, but as you probably know, we've been exploring a lot with our bondage/domination sides. We recently had some very interesting sessions, and I made it a weekly thing, rewarding him at the end of the week based on his behavior. It was great, but now I'm out of ideas.

    We had a night where we would swap sex stories we'd find online/in magazines, so that helped open the door a little bit, and once I found out his ultimate fantasy, well- let's just say I acted on it. Now that his ultimate fantasy has been explored, I feel as if there's nowhere to go from here. I'd hate for us to come all this way, then to get bored, because I truly feel almost enlightened by the experience. I'm not saying I thoroughly enjoy it now, but I've become more open to it.

    I need some help sparking some ideas on different ways to dominate him. If you want a brief description of what we've done thus far, you can PM me- I don't know how he'd feel about me just blurting out his biggest fantasies on a message board for all to see.

    I really do feel like I've hit a wall, and I want to be able to keep surprising him. The past month or so, I've been shocking him/surprising him every Friday with how far I've been going for him. I'd love to keep doing that. It makes me happy to see him happy.

  2. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    why not enact variations on the fantasy? Speaking from experience, no fantasy is ever straight to the point with only one path. the fantasy is more focused on the ending outcome, and there are many variations used mentally to reach that outcome.

    enacting a fantasy is not a dead end, its more of a crossroads. remember all roads lead to another road, and with that philosophy, as long as you keep moving forward, you'll never be lost because you'll always be precisely where you mean to be.

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    He was very specific when he first told me the fantasy. He told me it was his exact one, with no differences in variations. He said he'd thought about it since his freshman year in high school. It was very detailed, and that scared me when he first told me.

    I came around to it though, after we fought for some time, and nearly broke up over it.
  4. subspace

    subspace Member

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    Sorry if this is to obvious but.....have you tried searching 'BDSM scene ideas' on the net? You can get a ton of ideas and stories this way to maybe help vary his fantasy a bit or come up with a bunch of new ideas to surprise him with.
  5. Sparrow69

    Sparrow69 Moderator

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    while his primary fantasy was very detailed, i guarantee you he's thought of other variations. now that he's lived that one, I'm betting dollars to donuts that hes already thinking about those variations. keep the lines of communication open.
  6. headslave

    headslave New Member

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    Sounds like you are taking a very positive step to keep the sex in the relationship fresh. Good for you. Honestly, I'm sure you (knowing him far better than we do) can come up with all manner of better fantasies and scenarios than we can and I really feel that the desire to work on the relationship for both partners is the critical ingredient to keeping the couple together.

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