The Dom experience

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by vanillavoyeur, Dec 10, 2012.

  1. vanillavoyeur

    vanillavoyeur New Member

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    I am curious about what it feels like to be a Dom. I read a lot of blogs written by subs who explain what the appeal of bottoming is, but I can't find the same for Doms. What attracts you to topping? I've heard of subspace, but is there a domspace? What's that like? Would anyone like to share their experiences? Thanks for sharing!
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I'm not sure if this is exactly domspace, but when I'm being worshipped, I feel a tremendous sense of power, a sort of limitlessness. It's a feeling that I can do anything I want to. It's intense and sort of intoxicating, although it doesn't over-ride my rational awareness of safety issues or consent
    Last edited: Dec 11, 2012
  3. anotherday

    anotherday New Member

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    For me personally it's two sided:

    On one side it's the power, a release for me as my partner (the wife) is otherwise a very alpha personality. As we aren't 24/7 "play time" gives me that power that otherwise I may not fully have.

    On the other side it's a very intense and intimate part of our relationship. Knowing that within our discussed limits this is what she wants or rather needs from me. It gives me great pleasure to provide this for her.
  4. Taneli

    Taneli New Member

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    As others have already pointed out, being a Dom is a two-sided experience:

    What really gives me pleasure is not so much the feeling of power, but much more watching my partner / slave both physically and mentally; but at the same time, it is delightful to see her suffering and still loving me, still worshipping me; in fact, it is like she loves the most, the more she suffers in my hands. So, yeah, in this sense, there is also this feeling of power, but rather that of a god-like power. I now can't stop thinking of those old-testament passages where God takes everything away from some guy, yet the more He takes away from him, the more the guy idolises Him. I think these stories tell a hell lot about human psychology and it's awesome to explore those aspects of psychology as a means of obtaining personal pleasure. This is, as I view it, psychological domination at its best, which is what I like the most.

    At a different level, domination is not always flowers and free pleasure. As with everything else, there are responsibilities to go along with it, as you have to take proper care of your slave and protect her with your life. I feel being a Dom is something VERY mentally involving and sometimes even overwhelming for me. It is so exciting that sometimes it takes away my attention from my other tasks. I haven't also completely been able to eliminate the feelings of guilt associated to causing pain to my beloved one. But then I'm still a newbie at this - I must confess - but then perhaps those feelings will never go away completely...

    When my beloved suffers, I always suffer together... When she is in pain, I feel pain. So, when I hurt her - be it emotionally or physically - I derive sadistic pleasure from her suffering, but I also suffer together, because I love her so much. But, in reality, that's not entirely bad; on the contrary, it's wonderful, since I'm also a masochist and all this intense pain gives me immense pleasure too.

    Another aspect of being a Dom that I so love is being able to comfort my beloved after having hurt her. This is so much wonderful, and yeah, of course, there's this sense of power there. You know, forgiving my slave for the mistakes she has committed after having humiliated her, making her bow before me and kiss my feet and beg for forgiveness, that's a most wonderful feeling.

    I like being a Dom. But most importantly, I am a sophisticated person, and I like being that way. I abhor sheer brutality. Rather, I like to impose my authority and my will over my slave without being brutal or authoritarian. I like to torture and punish her, but also to comfort her. I like to offer her the fruits she likes the most, play the piano for her and take her to the movies; without mentioning buying her clothing and jewellery so she can look beautiful for my pleasure. The other day I gave her a hair clip (not sure if that's the right name, but it's something to hold the hair in place), which she discovered could double as a whip, which i used to torture her in the most wonderful way.

    So, I think you can get some idea what it's like to be a Dom. It's a most wonderful experience. Especially when you are lucky to have a slave that is as sweet, loving, docile and dedicated as mine.

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