MIRROR: Download from MEGA I am submissive, currently single, but ideally I'd like to have a long-term relationship with a dominant guy. So, I meet a guy, he's nice, laid back, he's looking for something long term, he's says he's a switch, but mostly dominant and doesn't think my lack of switchiness is a problem. We get on really well, spend an afternoon chatting and he kisses me before we go our separate ways. We chat online and he asks me a bit more about what I'm into etc, but I say I'd rather discuss it face to face. Meet up with him a second time, in what I think is going to be another hanging out and getting to know each other, thing. But, well, lets just say our hormones won and we end up in bed together. During this he asks several things of me. Most of which is fine, only at one point he tells me to do something that I'd consider a hard limit for me (we never managed to have the discussion on limits before we got to this point...), and I said no. Another thing is not a limit, but is not something I'm comfortable doing with a guy I just met and don't trust (and I say no again), and there is a third thing where we er, lack the equipment (he didn't bring the item, I don't own it). So after this we are chatting online and I say that I'd like to see him again, although I have slight concerns about whether our interests match up - due to the thing he likes that is a hard limit for me, and the switch thing. He says he doesn't think its a problem, says he had a great time etc. Then today, he is now expressing doubts about me, specifically: 'You say No alot for a sub' This upsets me. I know it shouldn't, but I like this guy, and there is part of me (despite not knowing him that well) that really wants to submit to him and please him etc, and it feels like I 'failed'. I tell him its early days and I don't know if I can trust him yet. He says: 'it's just not my idea of a sub' So, urgh. Im now bouncing between feeling shitty and like I'm not submissive enough, and on the other side thinking, 'no, wait, I've never even agreed to submit to him, and I barely know him.' I realise that a lot of the problem is the lack of talking/rushing into things, which I accept I should have handled differently (I will try to in the future). But knowing that is not really helping with the current self doubt and not knowing what to do next.