submissive, bottom and slave - what is the difference?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ToyBoy, Dec 5, 2007.

  1. ToyBoy

    ToyBoy New Member


    Can anyone tell me what is the difference between submissive, bottom and slave?
    This may be obvious to those who have long-term BDSM experience but I am a novice.

    Thanks in advance.
  2. Zaxxon

    Zaxxon New Member

    That's not an easy question. Depends on who you're talking to mostly. Some feel they are the same, many don't.

    Personally, I have not heard "bottom" used in my presence. "submissive" is one that gives his/her gift of submission to a Dom/me, while a "slave" surrenders to his/her Master/Mistress. Submissive is one's passive nature, slave is one that wishes to be more.

    A similar question can be asked about top, dom/me, and master/mistress. And I would answer in a similar fashion.
  3. Here'as some simple ways of viwing them:

    Bottom- The role a person plays/fills in a particular act of Dominance/submission. For example a switch could serve as a bottom in one type of scene or a Top in another despite their main nature as a sub or Dom.

    submissive- A person who views themself as a partner to a Dominate.

    slave- A submissive person who views themself as property of a Dominate.
  4. Master Buckeye

    Master Buckeye New Member

    Bottom: The casual term for someone who enjoys the submissive
    role but is not generally committed to a fulltime D/s relationship
    or one partner.

    Slave: Someone who has agreed to give up all personal rights
    to their dominant or master. This may or may not ever include
    sexual contact.

    Sex Slave: A slave whose designation is specifically for
    sexual purposes. It is not simply someone who enjoys being
    dominated. Many who enjoy being dominated and are not sex

    Submission: Surrendering control to a dominant partner.

    I hope these Definitions Help you to better understand! MB
  5. Trained

    Trained New Member

    Not to disagree with any of the previous posters, but I would say don't count on any of those term when talking with a potential play partner. Everyone has different ideas on what these terms mean. In some groups, there is some agreement, but you move to a different group and they have different definitions.

    When talking to a potential partner, explain clearly what you are expecting, what your limits are, and what you do not want.

    Don't rely on on any general terms that can be misunderstood, because they will be. Everyone will be happier if if fantasies/desires, and turn ons are clearly spelled out in all their gory details.
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Just to provide a slightly different perspective, in the gay community, a bottom is the penetrated partner during sex, while a top is the penetrative partner. If both partners are playing both positions, they are flipping or being versatile. Some bottoms are submissive and some tops are dominant, but that not always true. So if you're playing in the gay community, be aware that someone who calls himself a bottom may not have any implications of d/s.
  7. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    Submissive-Describes certain character traits. A tendency to want to be dominated.Passiveness. A desire to be controlled(usually on a sexual leval but can extend to other aspects of your life).
    People pleasing,most often non confrontational but not always but almost always with partners,spouses, lovers.Often sub missives are insecure(like me) but when paired with a good Dominate this goes away quickly.Primarily we have the ability and usually the desire to convert normally unpleasant experiences in to erotic ones.We get pleasure from pleasing our Dominates.

    I would say a Bottom only enjoys Domination on a purely sexual leval ,but generally they do not enjoy or convert pain in to pleasure as sub missives do. (this is not a judgment)
    I would also say that a Bottom dose not get the same pleasure or have the same need to please thier partners.

    Slave- This describes the type of relation ship you have with your Dominate or Master.
    You pretty much have to be very submissive to accept and enjoy this.
  8. I don't consider myself to be a passive person though, so just case-in-point, you don't have to fit the mold to a t.
  9. EZRA

    EZRA Member

    absolutely I meant to describe in general and not specifically.
    We are dealing with people and everyone is some variation and combination of the traits I described.
    For instance it is not unusual at all for submissives to be aggressive in thier work and only enjoy to be ,or are only passive at home.
  10. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Perhaps 'receptive' would be a better term than passive. I know that when I'm subbing, I can be very active, begging for mercy and struggling to get free.

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