Subby's First Real Punishment

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Foreverbunny91, Nov 6, 2012.

  1. I gave my subby a really easy set of rules to follow, which he tries to follow but at times falls short. I have punished him once before because he smoked a cigarette at a party by making him smoke a cigar and spankings for backtalking during a scene... but nothing really big

    Sometimes, he's such a brat, and although he wants to be good, he is even newer to submission than I am to domination. I feel like a novice rider who just bought an unbroke colt! I am fully invested in this boy, however, so I just need to be more on the ball.

    I gave him a really simple writing assignment. I just wanted him to make a list of ten things he has learndd about BDSM in the past two weeks and 5 questions he has for me (about anything). I have him four days to do it. I was at his house for most of those days, and I was thinking I should remind him, but I thought he would handle it on his own. It was due on Friday, but I gave him some extra time n didn't check until Monday night. (I was at his house until Sunday morning.) When I asked him if he had done it, he said "no" which he is not allowed to say to me. (He is supposed to say "I didn't do it" or "negative" or something like that, but never "no" to me.)

    So his punishment? A 600 word assignment and he must wear my panties until he finishes both assignments, as well as 10 lashings with my new flogger for saying no. He was pissed about the panties but ultimately, he accepted his punishment:) now what I'm going to do if he quits wearing them before he writes his assignments is another story... being a controlling bitch is a lot of work!
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Bunny, if he fails to complete his penalty, ask him if he wants to be your sub. If he says yes, point out that he is not acting like a sub. It is not the dom's job to force the sub to obey. The deal is that the sub offers obedience and submission, and the dom offers guidance, stability, and control. If the sub fails to obey, he's failing to uphold his side of the bargain.
  3. He did really well. He actually finished the assignment as soon as he got home from work! I asked him that, and he said yes. He's not a very hardcore sub, and he's very limited in what he finds pleasure in... but that is actually advantageous when it comes to punishment, I've found.

    I had asked him if he still wanted to be my sub the night I spanked him. It worked to remind him of his place, but I don't like to say such things, because it reminds me too painfully of the ultimatums in my previous relationship and emotional black mail. I know it's different, but I just don't like the tone of it.
  4. Hippie-Sadist

    Hippie-Sadist New Member

    I have been having some issues with my sub recently as well. In discussions she has stated that she is having a hard time keeping to the sub mindset but I have learned in the past that using the concept of sub or no sub is not good for her. It makes her feel horrible and then it turns into "I'm fucking it up," and things seem to get worse. I think that asking them these things may work well with some subs however not all of them. So I understand your point about not wanting to use that form of reminder.

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