Sub playmate for bisexual girlfriend. (Yes I'm in the right place, just read lol)

RS1981 · Jan 11, 2011

My girlfriend is mostly submissive, but a slight switch, and I am completely dominant. So I've thought of a solution to keep us both happy, and that is to have her find a submissive female playmate to get that out of her system, so she can be a good pet to me. Has anyone ever tried this?

Nuka · Jan 11, 2011

Me and my sub are in a similar position.

I'm looking for a female sub (a pet) for her. She has no experience with another girl but she has been out with a few, just never made it past kissing.

I've agreed so long as I am present, she wants to be able to teach her pet the same as I would her. And I think it helps on a few levels, so she can explore her other side; and understand me a bit more as well through learning how to care, teach, guide and be in control.

So long as you and your girlfriend trust each other, I think it should be ok but you two need the understanding that if she does start feeling differently about your relationship through it in whatever way, you have to stop and talk about it.

sebastian · Jan 11, 2011

In the gay community, it's not uncommon for dom/sub partners and leather families to have an 'alpha boy', who is the lead submissive, who submits to the dom, but who dominates junior subs (unless given specific orders from the dom), and there are parallel situations among straight couples. Few subs are truly 100% submissive, so this allows opportunities to explore their dominant side.

L8NightQ · Jan 11, 2011

RS and Nuk -

I advise you both to be careful what you ask for.

When you add a third party to a relationship there are many things that can happen that you can't plan for.

I am not trying to discourage you from what you want to do, but I do want to make sure you understand that many times a threesome winds up as a twosome... just not the same twosome that started it.

Typically the problems I've seen (with my friends) result from intimacy, not sex. If you guys can keep them apart, fine... but many can't dis-associate, especially in such extreme physical relationships.

Just keep both eyes open, cause when a bell rings, it can't be un-rung.

RS1981 · Jan 11, 2011

L8NightQ said:
RS and Nuk -

I advise you both to be careful what you ask for.

When you add a third party to a relationship there are many things that can happen that you can't plan for.

I am not trying to discourage you from what you want to do, but I do want to make sure you understand that many times a threesome winds up as a twosome... just not the same twosome that started it.

Typically the problems I've seen (with my friends) result from intimacy, not sex. If you guys can keep them apart, fine... but many can't dis-associate, especially in such extreme physical relationships.

Just keep both eyes open, cause when a bell rings, it can't be un-rung.

I understand your concern, and I agree. However we have been a vanilla couple for 5 years now, just getting into BDSM and she told me that she prefers men. Also when she is with men she prefers them more dominant, and when she's with women she wants them submissive. By my logic this would mean she can have both and still stay just as happy with me, if not even moreso. Even so I will heed your advice and keep my eyes open.

Nuka · Jan 11, 2011

L8NightQ said:
RS and Nuk -

I advise you both to be careful what you ask for.

When you add a third party to a relationship there are many things that can happen that you can't plan for.

Just keep both eyes open, cause when a bell rings, it can't be un-rung.

This is what I have said to ash, and she recognises it as much as I do. The best thing is to start off slow with it, not even bringing sexual context into it until all three members are ready.

And at the moment it's only a thought/discussion with us, though we are asking around and talking seriously about it, I think it may be a while off yet, which is enough time to either change minds or be sure in what we're doing.

RS1981 · Jan 11, 2011

NukAshlie said:
This is what I have said to ash, and she recognises it as much as I do. The best thing is to start off slow with it, not even bringing sexual context into it until all three members are ready.

And at the moment it's only a thought/discussion with us, though we are asking around and talking seriously about it, I think it may be a while off yet, which is enough time to either change minds or be sure in what we're doing.

It's actually the opposite with us. She knows how to separate sex from emotion for the most part, so we don't have too many concerns in that department. I don't mind if she has a girlfriend though, just as long as her other relationship doesn't undermine ours and she knows her place when she's with me. She had a girlfriend recently actually. It didn't work out with her but still she was completely faithful to me the whole time and didn't allow her feelings for her to get out of control.

Nuka · Jan 11, 2011

RS1981 said:
It's actually the opposite with us. She knows how to separate sex from emotion for the most part, so we don't have too many concerns in that department. I don't mind if she has a girlfriend though, just as long as her other relationship doesn't undermine ours and she knows her place when she's with me. She had a girlfriend recently actually. It didn't work out with her but still she was completely faithful to me the whole time and didn't allow her feelings for her to get out of control.

There's always that chance I guess it may be paranoia but it can happen.

And we're up for it, but as she's vanilla to it, easing is the best option.

Sub playmate for bisexual girlfriend. (Yes I'm in the right place, just read lol)

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