sub and Dom questionnaire

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by ssatriani, Feb 3, 2010.

  1. ssatriani

    ssatriani New Member

    A good day to A/all,

    I was wondering if there's something on the internet somewhere where Y/you can do the following:

    Answer a questionnaire about what turns Y/you on/off what Y/your hard limits are, etc. and compare it side-by-side with S/someone else's.

    I've seen tons of lists in a variety of formats (web form, Word, Excel), but can't find a system that allows a sub to fill in such a questionnaire, and then let a Dom (who filled in His own list) compare them; ideally filtering it with querys such as

    "Show me only the items of what this subs hard limits are that I do like"
    "Show me what this sub has never tried but is willing to try that I like"
    "Show me everything that we're both into"

    Putting 2 (hard copy or on-screen) lists side-by-side can be tedious and with todays techniques its definitely possible to do such a thing online.

    Does anyone have any idea if this already exists?

    thank Y/you in advance.

    Best regards,
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  2. Call me crazy, but, what ever happened to a good ol' fashioned conversation? I don't like questionnaires. While they can answer some really dry questions, they are really meaningless if you actually seek a partner because absolutely nothing of personality comes across.

    Oh, great, you know someone is turned on by fisting... But, do you know why? If you don't know why, how can you really use that knowledge as a Dom. One of the wonderful things about most Doms I've met is their eagerness to get inside a subs head and not only understand the what, but the WHY of these things. That is far more important in my opinion as thats what leads to true D/s, not just kinky sex...

    But, to each their own. This is why some people are Tops, and others Doms...
    Last edited: Feb 3, 2010
  3. DaddysLilSlut

    DaddysLilSlut New Member

    Was this what your looking for? I found this on another site I belong too

    The one for sub/slaves

    Submissive BDSM Play Partner Check List

    This questionnaire should be filled out by a sub and provided to their Dom/Top before playing with them. This will provide a quick "head-start" to identifying limits, negotiating and finding common ground for play.

    For each item, you need to provide two answers:
    First write YES or NO next to each item to indicate if you have ever DONE that activity.
    Mark N/A if it does not apply to your gender.
    Next, indicate for each item how you FEEL about that activity by rating it on a scale of NO or 0 to 5.

    NO means you will NOT do that item under any circumstances (a hard limit).

    0 (zero) indicates you have utterly no desire to do that activity and don't like doing it (in fact, may loath it) and would ordinarily object to doing it, but you would be willing to do it to please the Dominant if it they really wanted it. (sometimes called a "soft limit").

    1 means you don't want to do or like to do this activity, but wouldn't object if it were asked of you by your Dominant.

    2 means you are willing to do this activity, but it has no special appeal for you.

    3 means you usually like doing this activity, at least on an irregular/ occasional basis.

    4 means you like doing this activity, and would like to experience it on a regular basis.

    5 means the activity is a wild turn-on for you, and you would like it as often as possible.

    Mark with an asterisk (*) those items which you are willing to do only with you current sex partner(s), but not with casual play-partners.

    Note any additional information, which might be important for your Dom to know.

    There is intentionally some overlap between categories. Unless otherwise stated, the Sub is the recipient of the activity.

    Experience, Willingness Question or Comments
    yes/no NO or 0-5 written in by sub

    Age play:
    Anal sex:
    Anal plugs (small):
    Anal plugs (large):
    Anal plug (public, under clothes):
    Animal roles:
    Arm & leg sleeves (armbinders):
    Auctioned for charity:
    Bathroom use control:
    Beating (soft):
    Beating (hard):
    Being serviced (sexual):
    Being bitten:
    Breast/chest bondage:
    Breath control:
    Boot worship:
    Bondage (light):
    Bondage (heavy):
    Bondage (multi-day):
    Bondage (public, under clothing):
    Bondage and Sex:
    Breast whipping:
    Brown showers (scat):
    Cages (locked inside of):
    Cells/Closets (locked inside of):
    Chastity belts:
    Clothespins breast/nipples:
    Clothespins labia lips/clit:
    Clothespins body:
    Cock worship:
    Collars (worn in private):
    Collars (worn in public):
    Competitions (with other Subs):
    Corsets (wearing):
    Cuffs (metal):
    Double penetration:
    Enforced chastity:
    Examinations (physical):
    Exercise (forced/required):
    Exhibitionism (friends):
    Exhibitionism (strangers):
    Eye contact restrictions:
    Face slapping:
    Fantasy abandonment:
    Fantasy rape:
    Fantasy forced deep throat:
    Fantasy forced cunt licking:
    Fantasy forced rape anal:
    Fantasy gang-rape:
    Fisting (anal):
    Fisting (vaginal):
    Following hand signals:
    Following orders:
    Foot worship:
    Forced dressing:
    Forced homosexuality:
    Forced masturbation:
    Forced nudity (private):
    Forced nudity (around others):
    Forced servitude:
    Full head hoods:
    Gags (cloth):
    Gags (penis shaped):
    Gags (rubber):
    Gags (tape):
    Gates of Hell:
    Genital sex:
    Given away to another Dom (temp):
    Given away to another Domme (temp):
    Given away to another Dom (perm):
    Given away to another Domme (perm):
    Golden showers:
    Greetings rituals:
    Hairbrush spankings:
    Hair pulling:
    Hand jobs (giving):
    Hand jobs (receiving):
    Harems (serving w/other subs):
    Harnessing (leather):
    Harnessing (rope):
    Having food chosen for you:
    Having clothing chosen for you:
    Head (giving cunnilingus):
    Head (giving fellatio):
    Head (receiving cunnilingus female only):
    Head (receiving fellatio male only):
    High heel worship:
    Homage with tongue (non-sexual):
    Hot oils (on genitals):
    Hot waxing:
    Housework (doing):
    Human puppy dog:
    Humiliation (private):
    Humiliation (public):
    Ice cubes:
    Initiation rites:
    Intricate (Japanese) rope bondage:
    Leather clothing:
    restraints chains:
    restraints leather:
    restraints rope:
    Lectures for misbehavior:
    Licking (non-sexual):
    Manacles & Irons:
    Manicures (giving):
    Massage (giving):
    Massage (receiving):
    Medical scenes:

    Modeling for erotic photos:
    Modeling for erotic videos:
    Mouth bits:
    Nipple clamps:
    Nipple cloths pins:
    Nipple weights:
    Oral/anal play (rimming):
    Over-the-knee spanking:
    Orgasm denial:
    Orgasm control:
    Outdoor scenes:
    Outdoor sex:
    Phone sex (serving Dom):
    Phone sex (serving Dom's friends):
    Piercing (temporary, play-pierce):
    Piercing (permanent):
    Prison scenes:
    Pony slave:
    Public exposure:
    Public tasks:
    Pussy/cock whipping:
    Pussy worship:
    Riding crops:
    Riding the "horse" (crotch tort.):
    Religious scenes:
    Restrictive rules on behavior:
    Rubber/latex clothing:
    Rope body harness:
    Saran wrapping:
    Scratching – getting:
    Scratching – giving:
    Sensory deprivation:
    Serving as art:
    Serving as ashtray:
    Serving as furniture:
    Serving as a maid:
    Serving as toilet:
    Serving as waitress/waiter:
    Serving orally (sexual):
    Serving other Doms (supervised):
    Serving other Doms (unsupervised):
    Sexual deprivation (short term):
    Sexual deprivation (long term):
    Shaving (body hair):
    Shaving (head hair):
    Shaving (pubic hair):
    Sleep deprivation:
    Slutty clothing (private):
    Slutty clothing (public):
    Spanking in private:
    Spanking in public:
    Spanking in bdsm parties:
    Spanking pleasure:
    Spandex clothing:
    Speech restrictions (when, what):
    Speculums (Anal):
    Speculums (vaginal):
    Spreader bars:
    Standing in corner:
    Stocks (adjustable):
    Stocks (fixed):
    Straight jackets:
    Strap-on-dildos (sucking on):
    Strap-on-dildos (penetrated by):
    Strap-on-dildos (wearing):
    Strapping (full body beating):
    Suspension (upright);
    Suspension (inverted):
    Suspension (horizontal):
    Supplying new partners for Dom:
    Swallowing semen:
    Swallowing urine:
    Swapping (with one other couple):
    Swinging (multiple couples):
    Triple penetration:
    Triple penetration by 3 males:
    Including others:
    Vaginal dildo:
    Verbal humiliation:
    Vibrator on genitals:
    Voyeurism (watching others):
    Voyeurism (your Dom w/others):
    Video (watching others):
    Video (recordings of you):
    Water torture:
    Wearing symbolic jewelry:
    Wooden paddles:
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  4. Yeah, I've done that one a few times before, it's nice to know upfront whether or not some interests are compatible.
  5. ssatriani

    ssatriani New Member

    This is the kind of list that I'm talking about BUT I was actually referring to some sort of website where Y/you can fill in this data and save it.

    When a Dom fills in His/Her (similar) list of things He/She wants to do (and what He/She isn't into) He/She can then (through a special code or something like that) match it with one specific sub's entry.

    As I said in my starting post:

    If this kind of system does exist, I'd be very interested in knowing the URL.

    Best regards,
  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I think the BDSM Checklist at Souls Haven might be what you're looking for.

    I haven't used it, but if I read the intro page correctly, it's basically what you're describing.
  7. ssatriani

    ssatriani New Member

    It looks like it very much.
    Thank you sebastian for this tip; I really appreciate it :)

    Best Regards,

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