Student needs help with thesis on BDSM

Discussion in 'Section open for any subject to discuss' started by ThesisStudent, Dec 11, 2012.

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  1. ThesisStudent

    ThesisStudent New Member

    I am writing a thesis on BDSM and have been looking for places that seem appropriate to ask some questions, and this seemed like one of them. Some of them may seem obvious, in which case I am looking for thoughts and further details you may wish to share.

    I numbered them to make it simpler…

    1. Between the Dominant and submissive role, from which position is consent known to be best judged from? (If the sub then this is not to say that the Dominant should not be in a position to consent with the submissive for any particular activity, but would you say that generally it is the sub because of the skewed dynamic of the act itself?).

    2. Are there more bottoms / subs than or Tops / Dom(me)s, and is this true within all BDSM demographics such as Gay or Lesbian? i.e. are there more bottoms than Tops among those also?

    3. In general, would you say that females biologically and culturally the more sexually desired of the two sexes?

    4. Do homosexual BDSM practitioners practice acts, which relate to gender differences knowing that they are the same sex? For example do homosexuals practice feminisation to such an extent if at all?

    5. When people in the scene or elsewhere change between Dom(me) and sub, (e.g. someone might start as a sub but end up as a switch), is this usually something that happens over the course of time where you develop a liking for it through experience or even curiosity?

    Many thanks, to anyone with some input much appreciated!
     
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  2. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

    1. Both have to be equal judges of consent, although due to obvious factors the sub is the one where you generally worry about it more (because if in bondage, they can't resist)

    2. There is no conclusive evidence either way. I have heard that there are less female submissives than male or than female or male doms in the straight community, but you probably won't find a real answer to this. Anyone here who answers will be incredibly speculative, it's not really great for a thesis.

    3. No. I don't really get why they would be. If there are females to be desired, they'll be desiring. We are more likely to get hit on by creeps sometimes, but still, no.

    4. That has more to do with the people than BDSM. Some people in BDSM relationships do, some don't. Some in vanilla relationships do, some don't. Some in either kinky or vanilla relationships both dress in drag and kai kai, but that doesn't have to do with BDSM.

    5. Another one based on individuals. Some people are switches who do whatever they feel like at the time, others start out on one end and develop a liking for the other.
     
  3. ThesisStudent

    ThesisStudent New Member

    Thanks for your help. Yes, I thought that although both give consent it is a bit more important for the one who is not in control to give consent during the act itself. 5. Relates to Neuroplasticity.

    I will try to get back with more detailed response soon, g'nite
     
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  4. ThesisStudent

    ThesisStudent New Member

    Hello Smallest , in reply to your answers…

    Similar to what I thought. Of course any participants need to give consent whatever it is, but between the roles Top and bottom it would seem that secondary to this overall fact, is that the consent is a little more critical from the bottom.

    Thanks, this one will need to be looked into further or be non conclusive.

    I was curious *if* a cultural “norm” of females being sexualised (like the cam women on the top right of this screen lol) more than men might have its roots in biology. Similar to how in many other species the males persue; peackocks ploomage, Lions, Stags fighting, birds dancing etc.

    Of course I’m not against it being the other way round or for females not to have their own wants, but if the former where to a larger extent my standpoint is really observational.

    This question related to question 3 in that if sexual masochism can be interpreted in relation to what it is to experience pain / humiliation depending what sex you are, then hetero male subs into chastity, denial, cuckold etc. while female subs into being pinned down and taken etc. might correlate.

    Although I know there are practices that are common within both M/f and F/m including the above, I’m referring to certain things that may tend to be more prevalent in one than the other.

    Hence my curiosity as to whether homosexual practitioners practise sexual sadomashochistic acts which relate to what it is to experience pain / humiliation based on gender difference, knowing that they are the same gender, and why I mentioned Feminisation.

    I guess the reasons and ways in which people change are many.

    Many thanks,
     
  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    My thoughts:
    1) This is tricky. The sub needs to be the final judge of consent, but some subs really strive to give control totally to the dom. Because consent gets fuzzy during play, we use safe words, so that 'no' can mean 'yes'. It's a widely-shared principle that consent should not be re-negotiated during play, so that the rules of the scene should be set beforehand and adhered to without changing during play (because during play, the sub might feel pressured to give more consent or might be too confused to really understand what's happening).
    2) There is a lot of debate about this. Some kinksters estimate that there are 10 subs for every dom, but that seems to do more with who will admit to being a sub. The few surveys that have tried to tackle this have found roughly equal numbers. It's important to realize that many doms sub occasionally, which might make the number of subs seem larger than otherwise would be. As I've heard it expressed, "Keys on the right mean I'm a sub. Keys on the left mean it's negotiable."
    3) This question is so vague as to be meaningless, because it's too dependent on context. In a gay bar, the answer is no.
    4) Yes, some gay men enjoy feminization as much as some straight men do. Gender identity and sexual object preference are not the same thing. A gay man may enjoy the fantasy of being a woman with a man, or he might enjoy the loss of status that feminization implies, or he might enjoy the humiliation of it.
    5) Another vague question, because the answer will vary from person to person. Some start in one role and gradually realize they enjoy the other role more. Some are switches from the start. Some adhere to one role but dabble in the other occasionally. Some take years to realize they're switches, while others know it from the start.
     
  6. ThesisStudent

    ThesisStudent New Member

    Thanks for your reply sebastian.

    1) I understand what you are saying. I’m sure it is complicated I guess a bottom might somewhat relinquish the sentiment behind the word “no” in favour of a safe word while the word “no” becomes “am I really OK with this”. I think being comfortable with your partner probably has a lot to do with it. Otherwise to know the significance of the bottoms consent is good to confirm.

    2) If the answer is that it’s uncertain then that is the answer I take. Will be to looking into it further anyway, perhaps to conclude no different.

    3) That’s meant as in between straight men and women, sorry if not clear enough.

    5) Yes it is vague, but your answer is good thanks.
     
  7. ThesisStudent

    ThesisStudent New Member

    By the way if you know any good books I can refer to I'd be glad to know.
     
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