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Hi all,
I hope I have found the right place to share my story and I welcome any feedback to help me understand what happened last night and how best to address this new experience.
Background
We've been married for many years, this has been turbulent and in some ways abusive over the years both verbally & physically. In general it has been mostly passive with horrible blow-outs once in a blue moon.
What happened..
We had a major row last Friday that resulted with me spending the weekend away. I was calling the marriage over, not wanting to see her again. That's it i'm moving on.
She comes to see me where I have been staying on Sunday night and we hit a brick wall with our sexual incompatibility conversation, polar turn-ons etc..
Anyway, we start talking about one of my fantasies and I show her a short porn video online that mirrors the easy and natural setting that I fantasise about. She enjoys it and agrees that'd she'd love to do it for real in the right situation.
This gets us both horny and we start touching, undressing and getting it on. Right....this is where it gets a bit confusing...
She starts scratching me lightly and I ask her to go harder, I normally wince at this but after the constant arguing and nasty text messages over the weekend I could feel her passion.
I knew she was holding onto some anger so I asked her to get it out, never done this before so she scratches my chest really deep. I don't feel so much pain I only feel her emotion. Then crazily I told her to hit me with no idea where this was going.
She was afraid too but I convinced her she needed to let her anger out. So she slapped my in the face fairly lightly at first. That wasn't really doing it so she hit harder. Now we moved onto punching...at this point she admits it really turned her on. After every hard punch or slap she would suck me off before getting ready for the next hit.
I was really enjoying this, seeing her strong and releasing her emotion. She had been holding onto her anger for years.
Next thing we have got off the bed. Standing facing each other naked and i'm asking her to hit me hard full on in the face and stomach. She gives me a couple of big hits to the sides of my head and makes a punch bag of my stomach. She had a memory for each of these punches...
We hug, kiss and make love. it was amazing.
After, we talk about how bizarre what just happened and conversation got quite deep. She felt brilliant for being able to hit me after all these years in a way she never thought she ever would.
We both found the experience incredibly sexual and also incredibly healing. It gave her rise to me as an equal and I accepted everything she threw at me because I knew I deserved it all.
Today, we have briefly spoken about how surreal it was (hard with kids about) but we are both really looking forward to doing it again.
I know that we don't need to do this every time we make love but it is certain to now be a part of our sex life. Please understand this is completely one way with only her hitting me.
I don't know what category or label this has (if any) but I hope someone here can hear where this is coming from and give any advice.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and I welcome any feedback. I'm still digesting the full extent of this myself and I don't know where else to share this experience or even if it classifies as BDSM, if it does then we have a starting point to explore this new experience.
James
I hope I have found the right place to share my story and I welcome any feedback to help me understand what happened last night and how best to address this new experience.
Background
We've been married for many years, this has been turbulent and in some ways abusive over the years both verbally & physically. In general it has been mostly passive with horrible blow-outs once in a blue moon.
What happened..
We had a major row last Friday that resulted with me spending the weekend away. I was calling the marriage over, not wanting to see her again. That's it i'm moving on.
She comes to see me where I have been staying on Sunday night and we hit a brick wall with our sexual incompatibility conversation, polar turn-ons etc..
Anyway, we start talking about one of my fantasies and I show her a short porn video online that mirrors the easy and natural setting that I fantasise about. She enjoys it and agrees that'd she'd love to do it for real in the right situation.
This gets us both horny and we start touching, undressing and getting it on. Right....this is where it gets a bit confusing...
She starts scratching me lightly and I ask her to go harder, I normally wince at this but after the constant arguing and nasty text messages over the weekend I could feel her passion.
I knew she was holding onto some anger so I asked her to get it out, never done this before so she scratches my chest really deep. I don't feel so much pain I only feel her emotion. Then crazily I told her to hit me with no idea where this was going.
She was afraid too but I convinced her she needed to let her anger out. So she slapped my in the face fairly lightly at first. That wasn't really doing it so she hit harder. Now we moved onto punching...at this point she admits it really turned her on. After every hard punch or slap she would suck me off before getting ready for the next hit.
I was really enjoying this, seeing her strong and releasing her emotion. She had been holding onto her anger for years.
Next thing we have got off the bed. Standing facing each other naked and i'm asking her to hit me hard full on in the face and stomach. She gives me a couple of big hits to the sides of my head and makes a punch bag of my stomach. She had a memory for each of these punches...
We hug, kiss and make love. it was amazing.
After, we talk about how bizarre what just happened and conversation got quite deep. She felt brilliant for being able to hit me after all these years in a way she never thought she ever would.
We both found the experience incredibly sexual and also incredibly healing. It gave her rise to me as an equal and I accepted everything she threw at me because I knew I deserved it all.
Today, we have briefly spoken about how surreal it was (hard with kids about) but we are both really looking forward to doing it again.
I know that we don't need to do this every time we make love but it is certain to now be a part of our sex life. Please understand this is completely one way with only her hitting me.
I don't know what category or label this has (if any) but I hope someone here can hear where this is coming from and give any advice.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read my post and I welcome any feedback. I'm still digesting the full extent of this myself and I don't know where else to share this experience or even if it classifies as BDSM, if it does then we have a starting point to explore this new experience.
James
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