Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Dom-me, Mar 26, 2010.

  1. Dom-me

    Dom-me New Member

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    I've been reading a lot lately about what/how people within the lifestyle (Dom/mes, Master/Mistress, and sub/slave) perceive a sub should be. There are some who could be classed as 'Puritans' who think a sub has to be a certain way - mainly pointing toward a slave mentality - and there are others who have a more open perception of how a sub can act - being more 'bratty' and having 'more' power.

    I kinda slide my way between the two depending on my mood. There are times when I would really love to be treated as 'property' and others where I want to be more respected while still being dominated. Then there are other days where I'm kinda inbetween...

    Am I the only sub like this or is this a common trend?
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2010
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    In the gay community, there tends to be a distinction drawn, though not a really strong one, between a slave and a 'boy'. A boy is submissive, but not to the extent that a slave is. He is expected to be obedient and to follow the dom's general will, but retains considerable autonomy. Some boys are bratty and intentionally disobedient. But 'boy' is also a general term of address for any gay submissive, even one who wishes to be a slave. So I think this is a grey area where the rules vary from couple to couple.
  3. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

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    I havent been part of this lifestyle very long, but there are SO many different ways people treat their subs (that I've heard of) and want to be treated.
    Think of the word as "sub" as a color. Submissive is blue. But there are a lot of different values and and shades and tints of blue. And yet in the end, they're all still blue. Different people like different values of blue, or maybe they like lots of blues!
    so... I think its pretty common. I know I'm exactly the same way <3
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    And to continue the color metaphor, different people can be different shades of doms or subs depending on who they're with, or with different kinds of play. I'm much less mean when I do puppy play than when I do other sorts of domming.

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    My master and I do all different types of play too, some gentle and playful, some severe. So I get to see various different aspects to his dominant personality, and get to explore different aspects of my submission. I don't think either of us are set on one thing or another, because it's more fun, and very interesting, to explore all these different levels :)

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