Slave becomes the Master

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by mindset zero, May 24, 2013.

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  1. mindset zero

    mindset zero New Member

    Hello,

    I am kinda of the submissive type in the bedroom and my girlfriend wants my completely dominant. Also be rough call her names. Also have orgies, group sex, etc. I am given free reign do want ever I want. She has the mind set of sex does not equal love. You know turn her into my slut in the bedroom

    So does any one have any advice coming from a Slave aspect to a Master. This is very important to me I does for her. My thing is that I always want to make sure she is ok but she wants me to treat her like trash. So I want to change that.
     
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Mindset: So your gf wants you to be dominant, but you're naturally submissive. So let me ask you: what do _you_ want? Yes, you're submissive and therefore want to please, but do you think you're going to like being dominant?

    I think you're in danger of falling into a classic trap for subs. Subs want to please, so if it pleases their partner for them to be dominant, then they try to be dominant. But being dominant is a lot of work, it pushes different buttons than being submissive does (related buttons, but different), and for a lot of subs it's ultimately not very satisfying.

    My first instinct is that you and she are not well suited for each other. You might be better off moving on and finding a new girlfriend, one who is more dominant. But if you want to stay with her, you need to have a conversation with her. Because right now, you're a sub in a relationship with a sub, and she's being selfish. She's asking you to do all the hard work and give her everything she wants, but she's not giving you anything you want. I think you two should alternate being the dom. Work out some sort of system when each one of you gets to take turns being submissive. Or look for a dom or domme willing to take on two subs.
     
  3. mindset zero

    mindset zero New Member

    I want this, she wants this. Also it is hard for me lately because I have a lower back problem. I had a back operation that has made my weak in the lower back so it is uncomfortable for me to have full on sex to completion. But that problem is physical, so working out my core think will help with that. And proper foods.

    She wants and so do I, is me to just "just throw me down, fuck me, and roll off me." And have total control in the bedroom. It will help me in feeling more confidante in my self.

    Tired of being weak mentally and physically.
     
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If you're clear that you want to be dominant, start by reading the New Topping Book by Eastman and Hardy. I think you'll find it helpful. Also, give some thought to what sort of dominant you are--a tender 'daddy dom', a harsh slave master, an asshole boss, or whatever. There are lots of models for dominance; you just have to find the right one for you.
     
  5. Sally

    Sally Member

    What do you like? I know exactly how i want my Dom to think and thereat me. Fantasize that you are the sub, and focus on what the Dom is thinking and doing in you dream. Learn from Him/Her and try taking the Dom's place, looking down on you. You have a Dom inside you, the one who dominates you ;) use him/her.
     
  6. Shepherd1

    Shepherd1 New Member

    I myself couldn't imagine switching places with my sub. It's not in me to submit. As my sub is both masochistic and sadistic, she has asked me to let her perform her wants on me. Because of my deep love for my pet; I gave it a whirl. Never again. The common thread I find on here and other places is you have to communicate ALL thoughts. I've found this very helpful in my own relationship, and I believe everyone should adhere to this simple process. Maybe you try it once and see where it takes you. It may leave you feeling horrible and unsatisfied. Or you may love it; I know I do. But communicate with her how you felt before, during, and especially after your play. I'm saying this assuming you do really want to stay with your gf. Good luck.
     
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