MIRROR: Download from MEGA
Not everybody into bondage is submissive or a masochist. If you or your friend aren't into domination or pain, thats just fine.
*Rope is probably the cheapest restraint you can get. be sure to buy a how-to DVD (I like OSK's How to perform rope bondage) or book. You don't want to kill circulation.
* Sportsheetz has the nylon & velcro restraints..... which can withstand a lot of thrashing.
*Most sex stores sell leather cuffs (usually under the Red's Black Leather brand). These are pretty good.
Yeah, I'm not sure if she's into the idea of domination or not...but it seems like she is. She wants me to take control of the situation and be the one who decides what I do to her, how, in what order that sort of thing. But, I'm not a big fan of just doing whatever I want to her because I've always been about whatever pleases the other person and it's hard to get used to someone saying "whatever you want to do will please me" essentially because I'm the kind of person who says "what do you want me to do? how's this? Feel good? Do you wanna stop?" I'm the one always taking orders...I'm not used to giving them. And she won't give me any. She wants me to decide. But then, at the same time...we're both kind of switch in that she likes to give me orders as well. Like, it depends on who is touching whom. When she is pleasuring me she will give me orders, trying to get me to orgasm on command...that sort of thing.
Really, I just get frightened by the intensity of her reactions. It makes me afraid that I AM hurting her, which I would never want to do. When I bite her...it's because it causes her pleasure, not because it causes her pain. I'm a huge fan of biting...but not when the other person doesn't enjoy being bitten. But, she has such intense reactions that I get afraid that she's really in pain and I know that I'm supposed to listen for the safe word but...I get scared that she's trying to push herself past her limits or something because my last partner would always push herself past her limits (not in sex...just in general, but...I feel that is a valid fear on my part) and the other day I nearly cried because I was so scared that what I was doing was hurting her and she just wasn't saying the safe word. It's like...I end up needing emotional aftercare because she has to hold me and reassure me that I wasn't hurting her and that I was doing well and it makes me feel weak and stupid that I'm curled up in her arms on the verge of tears when she was the one who just seemed like she was in immense pain, even though she wasn't. Is that normal?
As for the bondage...I already have the chains for it. I just need to find an inexpensive way to attach them to her wrists without hurting her. I was wondering if maybe having her wear weight lifting gloves (the fingerless leather kind) and just making a loop around her wrists would be enough. Because, she likes to hold onto the chain anyway and this way she won't rip the chain off of the wrist restraints because they aren't actually attached directly.
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