Sex toy safety

Discussion in 'Safety aspects of BDSM' started by RS1981, Sep 11, 2013.

  1. RS1981

    RS1981 Member

    I realize this is safety 101 as far as sex toys go, but I wanted to know anyway even if it's a stupid question since I'm not quite sure. My former sub wants to give me back most of the stuff I gave her, including some of her insertable sex toys. The sex toys in question are silicone, and I know that silicone sex toys are non-porous and easily cleaned. Should I even bother taking those toys back or should I just tell her to keep them? She's disease free, but I doubt my current sub would want to know that those toys are used lol.
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    So there's an emotional issue and there's a health issue here. Many people feel a sense of emotion about their sex toys. Those toys symbolize the sexual pleasure the couple had and so can represent the relationship at its best. I've heard of lesbians getting into furious arguments about who gets to keep the dildo in the break-up. And as you note, other people are uncomfortable with using sex toys that they shared with a previous partner.

    And then there's the health and safety issue. Toys should be washed or wiped down after use and left to air dry. If an insertable toy (like a vibrator or dildo) is going to be used by more than one person, especially if they are not in a monogamous relationship, they should be covered with a condom while in use. If a decent-guality silicone toy has been washed properly, it generally doesn't pose a serious health risk to a new user.

    So the issue here is more emotional than health and safety. These are toys you can clean and sterilize fairly easily. But you can't remove a toy's emotional residue. So if you feel that somehow reusing the toy would upset or distract you or your new sub, replace them. But if you feel comfortable taking the toys back, I don't think you're wrong.

    A third factor to consider is cost. Decent toys are pricey, so if you're going to throw them out every time you break up, you're going to be paying a lot of money until you find your long-term relationship.

    For me, I don't replace my toys when I get a new partner. I don't sentimentalize my toys that way. When I give a toy to a sub, I always say "this is my property, not yours" and make clear that I expect the toy to be returned if we break up.
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  3. anchel1231

    anchel1231 New Member

    I am agree with @sebastian because this is not good to make use of used toys for your new partner. It gave a bad impact on you. So i suggest you to buy some new sex toys. I can suggest you one online store where you can buy high quality sex toys on very affordable prices.
    Visit on:
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  4. bloodupdate

    bloodupdate New Member

    dont use them agian.
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  5. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

    If your relationship was personal, let her give the toys back. They represent something more than toys... probably to the both of you.

    For me they're almost ceremonial, and picked out specifically for that person. Even the leather, though expensive, is picked out and used just for that person.

    I did have one relationship that was just a teaching one. I used my own toys and equipment, and I kept them.

    I'd let her give them back. Keep them if you think you may be able to use them again with her. If not, be rid of them. It's good closure.

    In other words, like usual... I agree with Sebastian.
    (Nice to see you're still here Seb)
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  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Thanks, L8! Nice to see you too!
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  7. yaa

    yaa New Member

    For hygenic purposes just don't use it again or let other use it again. You can take it back or not.
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  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Yaa: In general, hygiene is not too much of an issue with sex toys, assuming 1) they're toys that can be cleaned with soap and water 2) they get that cleaning on a regular basis. For example, most dildos can be hand-washed with soap and water, or in a dishwasher. If one regularly washes them after use and then lets them air dry, that ought to kill most of the things that can be transmitted with them. So most toys don't need to thrown away just because one breaks up with a partner, at least not for hygiene reasons. Emotional reasons are a much bigger reason to dispose of a toy in that situation than hygiene/medical factors.

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