Sex or no sex?

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by subarama30, Aug 12, 2012.

  1. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

    So, I had said to my partner that I didn't think we should do anything kink for a bit just keep it regular for lack of a better word.

    I had been trying to write down all the things I had been feeling lately and putting down little tweaks that I thought we had to make to make all this work but hadn't gotten around to giving it to him yet.

    Well last night he came upstairs just after I had put baby down, I was in bed and he just pulled the bottom of the covers up and climbed under. I knew where he was headed and squirmed out the way and said we weren't doing anything tonight etc. basically there was a lot of wrestling and I had good intentions of actually sticking to my ground but what can I say, I'm weak.

    The thing that shocked me was, he was TOTALLY different last night, his whole demeanour and attitude had completely changed. He has a tendency to be quite inconsistent with his persona in that he can start off strict but get more leanient as he gets more turned on but last night he barely talked and didn't take any crap from me. Even his technique was different, he seemed more aware of what he was doing and his pressure was perfect.

    So, I am wondering has he been doing some homework behind my back without prompting. I'm pretty shocked. I thought he'd actually found what I had written because he did everything I'd mentioned in it. He left me a heap of jelly on the bed afterwards, I couldnt even speak.

    I think the main difference was there was no attempt from him for penetration, (he didnt even get his dick out and I wasn't allowed to touch him below the waist). I think that helped keep his head in the game so to speak.

    So I am curious, does sex take away from your kink or enhance it? Personally I am fine without penetration and have told him this in the past but I'm wondering what everyone else is like.

    Maybe we should only do the alternative stuff when sex isn't on the cards, it seems to make him a better Dom.
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I often enjoy torture for its own sake. I've used many guys without ever taking my cock out.
  3. MrPink

    MrPink New Member

    Making the other person's pain/ pleasure the sole object of your attention allows you a greater degree of control over the situation. You can pay greater attention to their responses and really give them optimal sensation. This doesn't have to be torture alone though; really give oral a try and you'll find you get all kinds of greater reactions.
  4. of course sex :)

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