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As Smallest said, the concept you seem to misunderstand is that there really is nothing to 'come clean' about. Being into BDSM is as natural as being an artist with the speciality of act painting, a politician leading or a heterosexual person being aroused by the opposite sex. Its an internal desire and not a choice. All of the above can decide not to seek fulfillment of their desires, but they will miss it.
Much like homo or transexuality, there is a social taboo enshrouding the sexuality, but that is all it is. A taboo based on misunderstanding and misplaced fear. Eventually, society at large will come to understand that just like it understood the prejudice towards race or ethnicity as prejudice's. Until then, suggesting that there is a need for therapeutical help to be open about our sexuality is counterproductive and supports the prejudice that there is something 'wrong' with BDSM.
Furthermore, it creates the double standart and assumption that there is indeed a need to be open about it. Sexuality and sexual desires are private matters to be dilvulged to people of one owns chosing. A straight man or woman is not required to out him or herself as straight. We make the assumption that he or she is because that is the standart, but there is no force element. By that very logic and protected by the human rights convention itself, no human being is required to divulge his own sexual interests to another without the motivation of his or her own free will.
A person who discovers his sexuality changes a great deal, we see this everyday in young people reaching, or going through, puberty, but those are changes to how that person perceives the world and nothing more. The drives or urges have always been there. People do not decide to be into men, women, BDSM, oral sex, anal sex or any other form of sexual practice. Knowing ones urges allows you to enjoy them and changes the way you see the world, but you remain the same person you have always been. Hence, wether or not friends or family are aware of the exact nature of ones desire does not factor into the relationship with those human beings. A mother does not love her child less or more depending on its sexuality because it is the person she loves, not the desires that arouse him or her.
The acceptance of that childs nature on the other hand will be influenced by social conventions, religion or even personal reasons and those can lead to rejection, but the emotion of love does not change.
What are you trying to do is force that question of acceptance on the families and friends of the volunteers. What you don't seem to understand, is that this question is only marginally related to BDSM. Instead it is interconnected with politics, religion, social conventions, personal taste, aesthetics and pretty much every other concept and notion about how people view society and how they personally define the term 'normal'. All reactions will be rooted in that and based on the individual's understanding of BDSM as opposed to what BDSM actually is. Much like asking a person to comment on a political process he/she has never heard of before will yield results disconnected from the actual political process and instead produce a response rooted in that person's worldview.
My instincts tell me troll, but I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. Therefore, If you are truly interested in creating an informed, objective documentary about the BDSM sexuality, its effects on ones life and the social taboos associated with it, all in the scope of a person outing him or herself to their friends and family, then I suggest you research the material thoroughly and by yourself. Dispose of all your prior notions of the topic, be open minded and try to understand the concepts of SSC, hurt without harm, safety aspects, pleasure-pain, responsibility & power exchange, inner and outer sphere, aftercare and so forth. Unless you do this, however high minded or noble your goal, you will only succed in creating another reality TV freak show that reinforces sterotypes and prejudice. The reason I know this is because your language and demeanor show that you neither understand the concepts nor seem to be interested in them as shown by your 'how you guys feel' statement. (Which is a polite way of saying: 'Thanks for your opinion, but I know better.')
Finally, allow me to say that the train of though that moves from: 'serious documentary' over 'financial compensation' passing 'professional therapist' to reach 'helping people to come clean' reinforces the impression of either a troll or a rating seeking, fear inducing taboo exploiter. Feel free to prove me wrong, but the fact that you did not even bother to mention a country or area to which this documentary of yours would apply, in an international forum, does not help either.
Regards,
P.S.Eudonym
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