safe words

J-Pit · Dec 12, 2007

Hi.

What is the purpose of "safe words"? Have you used them at anytime? How does it make you feel?

SMaster · Dec 15, 2007

A safe word is a phrase decided before to be used in a BDSM session when slave cannot bear the pain given any more.

Safe word always came to me as a sign of lack of trust. For this, I have never accept my slave to use one. A real Master is one who knows where to stop and is absolutely not a psychopath, though he has got sadistic feelings accompanied with responsibility which is putting him on such an honourable position as a slave's Mastership.

Trained · Jan 1, 2008

As a slave, I've never been allowed a safe word. Given the change to renegotiate, I would insist on one, but not for the reason most would think. My limits are pretty high. My owner always stops well befor my limits. I think that if I had a safe word she might be willing to go further. As it is, I think she stops early because she's afraid of exceeding my limits.

DearElliot · Jan 21, 2008

My Mistress has decided a safe word is ...used as a reminder to her...not guaranteed to work. and it usually doesnt...if I were to have a safe word it would imply control. In some cases I have abrogated my right to use a reminder, if caught smelling her panty drawer, in her closet smelling her clothes etc without pernmission. A mistress should always exceed ones limits to insure sincere respect and total attentiveness by the submissive.

rikkiann · Jan 28, 2008

when my new owner offered me a safeword i turned it down. I trust him to know my limits and to know when i cant take any more pain. Ive found that when i have a safeword i tend to use it when it gets bad but i dont want to do it. I want it to go on but its a natural response to pain. So for me its better if i leave the choice up to him.
rikki

torris · Mar 15, 2008

I tend to disagree with most of the posts on this thread. One time, early in our intimate relationship, my bf went too far and had to work very hard to regain my trust. A safe word would have prevented that from happening. It can be very hard to tell the difference between a verbal protest that really means "keep going" and one that really means "STOP NOW!".

curiousgirl · Mar 16, 2008

I agree a safe word is necessary for that. Not everyone is a bor 24/7 slave, and trust isnt easy to gain...
for one i would not agree to a situationwhen i know i cant make my hands free if needed. Not only couse of untrust, but 100 safe sessions do not garantee that 101st will be safe too. Just imagine your top getting a heart attack or something, and you cant do a thing about it couse youre tied. I know the chanches are small, still it can happen. I do not think anyone could put up with seeing the top getting hurt or dieing...

Magrathea · Mar 18, 2008

I'm new to subbing. My profile even says so. I need the safe word right now. But not so much for me.

I can take the pain. My Goddess' teeth touched through my flesh, and I could take it. But, she had chosen not to bind me, and it scared me because my body still reacts to the idea of "if it's hurting you, prevent it.", so I move involuntarily. I have some control at first, and I'm gaining control, but I don't have enough yet and I become scared of what my body will do. I want nothing more than my Goddesses happiness, and I have the feeling being hit while my body is flailing about in anguish would not make her happy, so I need the safeword for when I am afraid of what I am doing.

lilsadistgirl · Mar 18, 2008

For a new sub it is imperative to have a safe word. You are not sure of your threshold or limitations.

Now as an experienced sub my Daddy and I have a safe word in place but it seen more as whining when used. He is reads my body language and is in full understanding of how much I can take before he has to allow me rest.

That only comes with experience and time.

ReallyGreen · Apr 10, 2008

I do allot of sessions with professionals. They don't know my limits (especially during a first session), but I don't usually need to say the safeword, as most of their activities lean towards safety and wanting repeat customers.

Some safewords are obvious (Mercy, Toilet, etc) but given the scenario you'll want something unrelated. Ie: my last safeword was "pineapple", but that could be bad during a session involving food. I also know someone who had the safeword "telephone" and the session was interupted by a 2nd Domme who said something about answering the telephone, it brought the slave out of subspace and generally ruined the mood.

safe words

J-Pit

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SMaster

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Trained

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DearElliot

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rikkiann

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torris

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curiousgirl

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Magrathea

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lilsadistgirl

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ReallyGreen

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