Sadism and BDSM, a paradox?

subspace · Jun 19, 2009

MissPrissy it is a very interesting discussion, but as usual Sparrow has done a great job of taking something that seems complex and confusing and broken it down to help us understand it better. You and Sparrow are defining the word differently.

Sparrow69 · Jun 19, 2009

MissPrissy said:
I didn't mean any disrespect, I thought it would be an interesting discussion.

I wasn't referring to the discussion being disrespectful, I was referring to the name. There was an issue a while back with a "prissy" who is no longer allowed here.

Subspace is correct. It's the definition that seems to be off. As I said, you were looking at Sadist incorrectly, and making the common misconception that all sadists are Sociopaths, which is simply not the case.

I am a sadist both in and out of the BDSM community, even though I live a 24/7 BDSM life. However I still feel pity for children who step on landmines in wor torn countries, a sociopath would not.

MissPrissy · Jun 19, 2009

Sparrow69 said:
I wasn't referring to the discussion being disrespectful, I was referring to the name. There was an issue a while back with a "prissy" who is no longer allowed here.

Subspace is correct. It's the definition that seems to be off. As I said, you were looking at Sadist incorrectly, and making the common misconception that all sadists are Sociopaths, which is simply not the case.

I am a sadist both in and out of the BDSM community, even though I live a 24/7 BDSM life. However I still feel pity for children who step on landmines in wor torn countries, a sociopath would not.

Oh, I see .. thanks for letting me know, I was worried that this type of discussion was forbidden or something.

I guess I could change my name if I have to?

But as for the sadist definition, I think psychology uses a definition of sadist more in the sociopath direction, while BDSM uses the same word "sadist" to mean a person who cares about the one she causes pain to, and where the pain caused is not necessarily felt as pain, but a combination of both pain and pleasure. Does that make sense?

I've heard a lot of people use the term "sadist" to describe someone really cruel, and if the general public thinks the 'S' in BDSM is the same type of cruelty then that's sad.

Sparrow69 · Jun 19, 2009

Don't get it wrong, I am EXTREMELY cruel. Read some of my previous posts, especially in regards to punishments. Both Definitions Are correct...

By definition:

sa⋅dism /ˈseɪdɪzəm, ˈsædɪz-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [sey-diz-uhm, sad-iz-] Show IPA
–noun
1. Psychiatry. sexual gratification gained through causing pain or degradation to others. Compare masochism.
2. any enjoyment in being cruel.
3. extreme cruelty.

[After Comte Donatien Alphonse François de Sade.] sa'dist n., sa·dis'tic (sə-dĭs'tĭk) adj., sa·dis'ti·cal·ly adv.

mas⋅och⋅ism /ˈmæsəˌkɪzəm, ˈmæz-/ Show Spelled Pronunciation [mas-uh-kiz-uhm, maz-] Show IPA
–noun
1. Psychiatry. the condition in which sexual gratification depends on suffering, physical pain, and humiliation.
2. gratification gained from pain, deprivation, degradation, etc., inflicted or imposed on oneself, either as a result of one's own actions or the actions of others, esp. the tendency to seek this form of gratification.
3. the act of turning one's destructive tendencies inward or upon oneself.
4. the tendency to find pleasure in self-denial, submissiveness, etc.

MissPrissy said:
I've heard a lot of people use the term "sadist" to describe someone really cruel, and if the general public thinks the 'S' in BDSM is the same type of cruelty then that's sad.

BDSM = Bondage and Dicipline Sadomasochism How is that Sad? the "S" does stand for Sadism.... Just because some practice it to a stronger degree then others doesn't mean any are wrong. The BDSM community is not one of judgments, rather it is one of acceptance.

MissPrissy · Jun 19, 2009

Sparrow69 said:
How is that Sad? the "S" does stand for Sadism.... Just because some practice it to a stronger degree then others doesn't mean any are wrong. The BDSM community is not one of judgments, rather it is one of acceptance.

I meant that the general public judges the BDSM community without realizing what it is about, perhaps partly because 'sadism' is somewhat ambiguous?

Sparrow69 · Jun 19, 2009

then yes, i would agree that people as a whole tend to be closed minded, and that is why we seek to broaden awareness.

EZRA · Jun 19, 2009

Excellent.
In my humble opinion psychology is an infant science that consistently fails to grasp the larger picture of peoples life's therefore is usualy incapable of helping them. And spends entirely too much time pigeonholing diognoise simply because it hasn't developed enough to be able to place the diognoises in a broader spectrum, making it more acurate and usefull.

You must understand they are still trying to understand basic function's of our brains, like learning, memory,and the function emotions play in our every day life. So it's not at all surprising that the definition of Sadist would be lacking in the subtle nuances that would separate it from the sociopathic form and the more common humanistic form.

There; Sparrow simplifies and I obfiscate.

Sparrow69 · Jun 20, 2009

What a pair we make, lol

EZRA · Jun 20, 2009

I have a big vocabulary and I'm not afraid to use it.

Obedient Little Puppy · Jun 20, 2009

I'm afraid of big words though...despite the fact that I do understand them!

Sadism and BDSM, a paradox?

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