Rules & how to show you're a Master

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by aesthyr vorel, Nov 30, 2010.

  1. aesthyr vorel

    aesthyr vorel New Member

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    This one is here at her Master's request. W/we are rather new to BDSM and Master has a couple of questions that, unfortunately, this one cannot answer :( First; what are some of the general standing (or most common) rules for a relationship? Such as rules of ettiquette in the relationship and how the workings of the relationship happen day to day when the Master and slave are married with 3 small children. Second; the slave wears a collar but what can the Master do to differentiate himself from his vanilla counterparts in the world? Thank Y/you for any help and/or advice Y/you may have!
  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Congratulations on joining the community!

    1) I don't have experience with a 24/7 relationship, or with parenting, but one common protocol is to require the slave to keep a journal (so many words a day or pages as week or whatever); the slave might record his general thoughts, or describe a fantasy every day, or provide reactions to the scene you did last night. This keeps the slave focused on submission and gives the master some feedback about what the slave does and doesn't like. With children, it will probably feel awkward using 'slave' and 'master' or whatever terms you like. But you could agree that unless you're alone, you will say 'dear' when you mean 'master', and she will say 'honey' when she means 'slave'. You two know what those words really mean, but they look totally vanilla to anyone else, including the kids.

    2) I'm not sure what this question is really asking. Are you asking about how you see your master, how your master sees himself, or how other doms and subs in the community see your master? There isn't a universal thing that masters do or wear that has a direct parallel to a slave's collar. But in general, masters tend to wear black and leather when they want to feel and appear more dominant. Loosely speaking, the left of the body is coded for doms, and the right side for subs, so dominant gay men will wear keys or a flogger on the left hip, a leather armband on the left arm, or handcuffs on the left shoulder of a jacket, while subs would wear those things on the right. This is less standard in the straight community, but a flogger or crop on the left is pretty common.

    If your master feels a need for something to wear that says 'I'm the dom', a leather jacket can be a wonderful place to start. Leather feels very powerful and it really brings out some men's aggressive instincts. Or perhaps you might give him a ring or a pendant that symbolizes his control of you. Or if your collar has a lock on it, he might carry the key on his key ring or on a chain around his neck as a constant reminder of his authority. Boots are another symbol of dominance. Tall boots (like motorcycle boots) change the way you walk (you can't bend your ankles very far), which creates a sense of power, and of course, slaves can lick them or spend time polishing them.
  3. aesthyr vorel

    aesthyr vorel New Member

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    Thank you for your help- Master was very pleased with your ideas and suggestions! :.> And this one was relieved to see an actual peply instead of a bunch of porn ads like she got with her greeting post in the other section. W/we were afraid we were going to have to delete the account & find a different site.
  4. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Hopefully we fixed the problem with those lame-ass spammers.

    Glad you found the post helpful. Was I right that your master was wondering how to dress in a way that made him feel more dominant? Or were you asking something else?
  5. stvstvns

    stvstvns New Member

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    Last edited: Dec 20, 2010
  6. L8NightQ

    L8NightQ Member

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    SM 101 would have bee my suggestion too. Good one Stv

    He may also want to take a look at "Miss Abernathy's Concise Slave Training Manual". I think it's written from a femdom perspective but it's a classic when it comes to slave training and slave/Master protocols, and the principles are sound. Guess why it's considered a classic.

    One more suggestion, since you guys are new at this.
    The Loving Dominant by John Warren. It doesn't cover as much of the 24/7, Master/slave stuff but I consider it required reading for any Dominant who cares for his sub.

    While I agree with Seb's suggestions of black, the use of leather, and certainly, the key... I'm not to sure about what you do to differentiate yourself as a Master in a vanilla world. Would they know what any of that means?

    Well, maybe... but I'm not sure why one would need to. Once he grows into his role, his attitude may be enough. Displaying to much outside persona could make him look like a wannabee.
    After all, of people who do evil things, the scariest ones are those who can do all those things and look just like one of us.

    I mean no disrespect, but I wouldn't consider myself to be master in the outside world if I'm a conqueror of one.... and if he means to be a conqueror of many, that doesn't bode well for you.

    Welcome to the forum a v... Hope you use it for you, as well as him.

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