Research Project

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by psychstudent, Apr 11, 2011.

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  1. psychstudent

    psychstudent New Member

    Hello all I'm a psychology student doing a research project on BDSM. I want my project to show the real BDSM world in the words of people that live and play in it. I would like information in the following areas if you all wouldn't mind helping me.
    What is BDSM? definitions, different classifications or types, levels etc.
    The history of BDSM-How it got started, how it has grown, new types that have emerged throughout time and so on. (I have a lot in this area but if anyone knows some interesting facts I would really appreciate it.)
    Different forms of BDSM- maybe like the the top 10 most common forms...
    The culture of BDSM- What demographics are at play, your age, sex, what you do for a living(if thats not too personal), or what class you see yourself belonging to, lower, middle, upper, also if you don't mind what forms of BDSM do you enjoy/take part in.
    What you get out of it- is it strictly a sexual release/fulfillment, or more emotionally based, just plain fun, or something else.
    And lastly any comments or facts that you think the general public should known/need to know about the BDSM world.
    I would really appreciate any/all information that you all are willing to give. I will check back several times daily for the next week. Thank you.
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2011
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  2. Could you not just read the FAQ for most of this?
     
  3. Luna

    Luna Member

    Yes, he could, or ... she could.
    But If I am understanding what is being asked, you're looking for a little more personal insight into the topic.

    I'm still somewhat new to it but I will give you my views-
    What is BDSM?
    BD- Bondage and Discipline
    DS- Domination/submission
    SM- Sadism and Masochism

    Different forms of BDSM- can be anything as simply as a blindfold to the extreme of flogging, piercing, hot wax .... depends on each individual, couple and what there darkest desires are.

    The culture of BDSM- I am 38, female, in the healthcare profession. As stated, still new at this game. I have two lovers and I play a different role with each.
    With one, I am more submissive, I bend to his desires. His tastes are somewhat simply but he needs to feel masculine and in control so I allow him to have what he desires. For him it is more light play, a little restraining, he likes anal. I introduced him to that and it's what I think he really looks forward to.
    With the other, we go both ways depending on our moods so we each take on a Dominant and a submissive role. We do for each other- being bound, sometimes just the hands or sometimes flat out tied down to the bed completely; blindfolded; I like being choked which is dangerous, yes; He enjoys being spanked. We have toys, vibrators, dildos, strap-on, nipple clamps-LOVE my nipple clamps.

    What you get out of it- It's an absolute sexual high, physically, emotionally and spiritually. And on some level I'm sure psychologically. And it's great fun.

    Any comments or facts that you think the general public should known/need to know about the BDSM world-
    I allow my lover to tie my hands, grab my hair, forcibly fuck my mouth till I'm on the verge of choking, all the while with a toy between my legs. I allow him to take me at his whim and use toys in any way or place he wishes. I have sent him to the corner and spanked him until his bottom is as red as a lobster before I don the strap-on.
    This is all consensual. I'm sure many people don't understand it and don't approve of it. But it is consensual. That is the most important thing that needs to be understood.
    Trust and honesty are so important. My relationships with these men are very strong, especially the later because we communicate. We know each others limits and never cross that line. We fulfill each others needs and desires, we do for each other and get gratification in pleasing each other. It is like any relationship except that our needs and desires are somewhat deviant in nature. I can assure that our relationship is probably stronger than most 'normal' couples because we communicate so freely and trust each other implicitly.
    We are honest with ourselves, and each other, in what it is we want.

    Hope that helps ...
     
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  4. psychstudent

    psychstudent New Member

    Thanks so much Luna, you were right I'm wanting a more personal insight. I did read the FAQ though before I posted my thread it was helpful but was wanting more individual responses from a number of people. Also just as a second note if anyone wants to reply but not openly you can send me a private messege as well. Thanks again Luna.
     
  5. sillylittlepet

    sillylittlepet Active Member

    What is BDSM? definitions, different classifications or types, levels etc.
    - I see BDSM as a sexual preference or life-style choice that a individual has. Its part of that individual's sex life and usually in heavily integrated into their relationships with partners. There are a couple types, such as casual (like bedroom only or the couple doesnt engage in BDSM during every sexual encounter), 24/7 (a couple is always in a master/slave relationship), Total power exchange (the master has complete control over what the submissive does and says), and heavy involvement (couple is more engaged than casual but isn't quite 24/7).
    I see levels as ranging from casual to TPE. There's a lot of different ways you can create your relationship too, like master, dom, mistress, submissive, slave, pet, etc

    I agree with a lot of whats written in the FAQ, and of course everyone always needs to remember that BDSM relationships are something that two (or more) people AGREED upon, with rules that each couple creates to best suit their sexual needs and interests. There's no one formula for BDSM

    The history of BDSM-How it got started, how it has grown, new types that have emerged throughout time and so on. (I have a lot in this area but if anyone knows some interesting facts I would really appreciate it.)
    uhhhh... lol honestly I have no idea. Its not really something that I've been interested in haha!!

    Different forms of BDSM- maybe like the the top 10 most common forms...
    I'd say (in no particular order) casual, master or mistress/slave, paid dominatrix, master or mistress/pet, TPE, heavy involvement, online/cyber
    I cant think of any others that I imagine are common

    The culture of BDSM- What demographics are at play, your age, sex, what you do for a living(if thats not too personal), or what class you see yourself belonging to, lower, middle, upper, also if you don't mind what forms of BDSM do you enjoy/take part in.
    I'm Persian/Hispanic, female, age 19. I'm actually a student so I dont really make a living but I'm hoping to become an animator when I graduate from college! Under my parents I'm probably part of upper middle class, when I get my own career I'll probably be middle class I guess. Who knows!
    I'm a particularly mean and mouthy submissive! I've had an interest in being dominated since about age 12

    What you get out of it- is it strictly a sexual release/fulfillment, or more emotionally based, just plain fun, or something else.
    Its both fun and sexually fulfilling! Maybe there is an emotional need but I haven't really explored that much. I can for sure that I would be completely dissatisfied with my sex life if my master decided he was done dominating.


    Totally unrelated, but I've always been fascinated with WHY people are into BDSM, and when they first realized it. Were there any clues as a kid or young adult? Soooo interesting!!!
     
    Last edited: Apr 12, 2011
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  6. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    If you want my thoughts, read my posts in the FAQ
     
  7. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    I figure I should chip in a little too. A few more viewpoints can't hurt, right?
    BDSM, the way I see it is a lifestyle of choices. You choose to either let someone dominate you, or to dominate another, choose to allow things between you that others would see as objectionable, and so on.

    History, I can't help too much on, but have a look up about a certain Marquis de Sade, who penned the book that probably started the whole thing.

    Culture... well, I'm a 23 year old guy that cleans greasy ducting for a living (Nice, huh?), I used to be a sub, after a visit to my dom side, I'm more of a switch that favours being a sub. I'm not very assertive even while dominant, I just make suggestions that I expect to be followed, and I don't deal out punishments often.

    Sexual gratification is the main result of it all, but outside of the bedroom (what others have called 24/7 or TPE relations) there's a sense of wanting to serve, to please Master, and receiving the rewards for doing so - at least while subbing. I can't speak so well for being the Master, but there's a sense of power, control that's can be almost like a high, and that's possibly just as good for the right people.

    I often find it's actually best summed up in many ways by Seb's signature line. Maybe not everyone understands that subtle compliment, but we do, and that's what matters most - the deep trust you develop when you surrender yourself up to another, or when another does so to you. Without the trust and communication, it's just trouble waiting to happen.
     
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  8. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    Ruelee: As far as the Marquis de Sade goes, while he lent his name to part of BDSM, he's not really a practitioner of BDSM as we would understand it. He has no interest in consensuality at all, and by our standard much of what he writes about is abuse and rape. Nor was he the first person to explore BDSM. We know that 18th century London was home to flogging brothels, and some ancient religious practices (pre-Christian) included ecstatic whipping. For that matter, monastic flagellation might be considered BDSM, although it wasn't sexual for them. St. Theresa of Avila, a 16th century nun, wrote about divine visions in which pain, pleasure, and sexual arousal were all combined.
     
  9. Ruelee

    Ruelee Member

    Alright. I concede I may have been somewhat inaccurate on that score, but I felt he at least deserved a mention.
     
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  10. psychstudent

    psychstudent New Member

    thank you Sebastian for the historical information I was not aware of that info. I have read some on the Marquis de Sade and thought the same as you said about him being more into abuse and rape more than BDSM because of the consenting aspect. I do appreciate your posts as well Ruelee. Sebastian if you wouldn't mind could I get some of your personal demographic, age, sex, fav role ( I believe you said Dom in a previous post in the FAQ?), job or class (upper, middle, lower) and any other information about you personally would be great. I read all your posts in the FAQ section, very informative and detailed thank you they will help me a lot.
     
  11. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

    I'm a 43 year old gay male dom. I teach history at the college level (so I have a doctorate). Anything else you want to know?
     
  12. psychstudent

    psychstudent New Member

    I think for now that should be enough info Sebastian. If I have any other questions I will let you know. thanks again for participating its very helpful.
     
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