Rendezvous with Terror by Emily (I love fan mail, rory_helm at yahoo) I was 22 and still a virgin. There were many reasons for this. One was my domineering mother who impressed on me the importance of saving myself for marriage. Also, I was painfully shy. In high school I was the girl with a shaggy mop of short red-blond hair, freckles, glasses and buck teeth that no boy ever took a second look at. I always felt invisible to them. To my male friends I was just a friend' and their raging hormones directed them elsewhere. What happened then was: contact lenses, braces and college. Contact lenses revealed that I had very light brown eyes unusually flecked with green and gold. My red hair, that my mom had always kept short so I looked like a boy, grew out and reached my waist. When the braces came off I was transformed. I worked my way through college and there was little money for excess calories so I shrunk from a size 12 to a size 6. At 5'2"Â this still left me with curves, erect firm breasts, a nearly flat stomach and a nice shelf bootay'. I noticed the boys were finally looking at me. The last hang up was the marriage thing. I did not want to get married right away, and maybe not at all. So where did this leave me? I decided right then that saving myself for marriage was ridiculous. Besides, I was the last virgin on my dorm floor, and I longed to experience the fun the other girls described. Still the idea of sex was terrifying. I understood loosing my virginity would be painful and this scared me. Some of my girlfriends said it hurt a lot and they bled like crazy, others said it only hurt at first and there was not much blood at all. When I was making out with a guy, he would inevitably begin to undress me below the waist, thoughts of pain and blood would then overwhelm me and I would panic. They were very polite about it, but I'm sure they thought I was just a cock-tease, as I would never hear from them again. I decided that it was best to face my fear and just get it over. So when Kevin began hanging around and it was clear he was interested I began to flirt back. He was very nice and one evening I found myself in his dorm room and we began to make out as we had a few times before. This time he began to undress me below the waist and I let him. He began to lick my pussy, but unfortunately, he did not know what a clit was, so my arousal was not complete when he tried to enter me and I must have been dry. At his first push I felt pain and cried out. "What's wrong?"Â he asked. "I'm a virgin, please be gentle."Â I replied terrified. "Okay,"Â he said. He attempted to push in again. Whimpering in pain, I felt my whole body tense up. Finally he said, "Look, this just isn't working,"Â and he got up and began to put on his clothes. I don't really remember much else except a feeling of humiliation and failure. I went back to my room and cried. I realized loosing my cherry was not going to be as easy as I thought. I realized that Kevin had been inept, and his own inexperience was demonstrated by his trying to penetrate me when I was clearly not aroused. I knew then that if I was to be rescued from my virginity I would need to find someone with much more experience. Thus events were set in motion that would lead me to my rendezvous with terror.