Recruiting a sub in the same office as a subordinate is a good idea ???

Discussion in 'General BDSM discussions' started by Rahul, Jan 9, 2013.

  1. Rahul

    Rahul New Member

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    I would like to know from you guys, is it really a good idea of a dom(me) to recruit his/her own submissive as a subordinate in the same office where they work???

    Answer with justifications...........
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  2. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    Do you mean hire an existing sub as an employee or recruit a current employee as a sub? And are we talking about a dom who owns a business, or a dom who is an employee at a company?
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    I know Sebastian asked for clarification, but I interpreted the questions as:

    • A Dom(me) is a supervisor of a group of workers in a company.
    • The Dom(me) specifically hires a person they already have as a sub.
    • Is this a good idea?

    In other words, the D/s relationship extends from their private life to their work life.

    If I have interpreted your quesiton my opinion is...don't do it.

    Let's consider a couple of possibilities:

    1. The Dom(me) and sub are getting on great. However, sexual harassment laws would not just apply to the two people in the D/s relationship. If a co-worker realizes something is going on, or even just witnesses a consensual D/s interaction in the workplace they will have cause to complain to HR.

    2. Another possibility. The relationship goes sour. In revenge the sub reports the Dom(me) to HR to get them fired.

    These are just two of many things that can go horribly wrong with this in a larger company.

    If it's just two of you in a small business I still think it's a bad idea. The reason is that if the sub deliberately screws up work to get punished that's probably a bad thing for a small company.

    I think there are better ways to extend the relationship outside the bedroom.

    Last edited: Jan 9, 2013
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  4. Smallest

    Smallest Moderator

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    In general workplace relationships are a kind of crappy idea; I imagine if you google it a ton of advice columns will tell you why. The reasons Stanley listed are legitimate concerns, and it is a way to fuck over both your job and your relationship pretty fast. Of course, we are all waiting on your clarification.

    If you are just talking about hiring a sub, not your sub, I would say it was okay, except the fact that you're bringing that element into consideration probably means you shouldn't; it sounds like a sexual harassment charge is likely to be filed or you're looking for a new office scapegoat.

    Again, we're nothing without clarification.
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  5. sebastian

    sebastian Active Member

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    I do know of a couple gay dom/sub couples (mostly master/slave) in which the dom either 'employs' the slave (who works for room and board) or is a business partner with his sub. One of these is long term, another new within the past year (and so I can't say whether it seems stable). Obviously, there are serious financial issues involved if the relationship collapses. I would hope that the dom has made financial arrangements to support the sub if the dom dies suddenly or dismisses the sub.
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  6. Rahul

    Rahul New Member

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    I feel there should not be any issues if at all a dom recruit his sub as his subordinated in his office, but again when i think a bit deeper my mind comes out with a different opinion, and reminds me of all different complications that might arise on their professional grounds. There might be situations where a dom as a boss should take some other decisions but may not do so, there might be situations where a dom as a boss needs to consult with his immediate subordinate (sub) but his egoistic dominating nature will sometime will not allow him to do so, sometimes a dom may not be strict or sometimes may be over strict with his sub as compared to his other juniors as his emotions attached for his sub will always differentiate her with others and cannot accept the fact that even she as his sub in his office stands on a same platform with many others.
    It might sometime even affect their marital life too for both the parties

    A dom as a boss may not concentrate on his important project when he finds his sub looking very dull as she might be suffering from many reasons, and he will start taking decision in favour of his sub and not for a companies which would be purely unprofessional, probably that's the reason many companies don't entertain an employment for 2 person from a same family with a blood relations.

    But we can again debate on this point saying that a dom should be always balanced and he should have those qualities and all those leadership skills which will definitely help him to maintain his chair, but we should not forget even a dom/master are human beings made up of just with the same matter which is even used to make the rest of the lives....but here i will not stop, i would surely go by all of your point that situations and right judgement can help a dom and a sub even in their offices and how can i forget my old days where i have worked with my submissive in the same office in the same department but the only difference was there i was her subordinate and she was my boss, and i have seen changes in her approach and behaviour towards me after we came to know about each other and as we entered the BDSM relationship. What i felt was her love and affection for me grown high and she was literally started doing partiality and that was not only felt by me but by many other be honest, still i cannot decide what would be the right answer but i should choose not to take any of my sub as my junior in my office...
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  7. Click here for more.
    In addition to the many possible dangers of employment law I described above I just think life is complicated enough without trying to mix work and personal relationships :)

    They say never go into business with your family. Of course many, many people do, but they often comment on how it places more strain on their relationships.

    One thing I would point out. If things are going badly at work, we can retreat to our loved ones for solace and support. If things are going badly in our personal relationships at least we can go to work and get a few hours of break from it.

    But if the two are intertwined then there's no respite.

    Just my 2 cents.

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  8. subarama30

    subarama30 Member

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    To me, it depends on personality and circumstances. I spend what some people would think is maybe an unhealthy amount of time with my husband but we always have, we are never apart for very long and even when he works he calls twice a day. It's just us so it wouldn't bother us working together too if we had to (though since I'm a stay at home mum right now it's a non-issue).

    If it was just a sexual partner and not someone I was in a committed relationship to then I wouldn't advise it in case things went bad.

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